Guy to girl: I have a wiener dog that is a pain in the ass!
Girl: Is that supposed to be a pun?
–Tampa, Florida
Drunk girl who just flashed her tits: Here, I’ll show you, but I know you’re going to laugh.
Bouncer: Like I’m gonna laugh at your ID — I just saw your tits!
–Outside Mercury Bar, Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Here tits were pretty funny
Southern belle: If I had gotten on that boat, I would have met the man of my dreams. We would have had an amazing time and I would have fallen madly in love. Then I'd go back to Arkansas and he'd forget about me, just like all the rest of them.
Friend: Yeah… Need a smoke?
Southern belle: Yes! Do you have menthol? I love menthol.
–Fort Myers Beach, Florida
Hot tan girl reading specials board: Does that say tuna and Jews?
Hot pale girl: Um, no. That says “with chips.”
–Crazy Gringo, Weirs Beach, New Hampshire
Girl #1: Do you think a guy would tell you if he had a girlfriend?
Girl #2: Yes, of course he would!
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: kate
Girl #1: But then I thought, ‘Why the hell would he kiss her when he has me?’
Girl #2: Uh, because of the herpes?
Girl #1: Fuck you.
–Cape May, New Jersey
Overheard by: J.Tro
Drunk white guy: Girl, I love you. You remind me of my friends from Philly!
Sober black girl: Why? Cause I'm black?
Drunk white guy: Yes. (pause) I felt you deserved an honest answer!
–Port Hueneme, California
Overheard by: honesty is the best policy
Puzzled blonde: Where did all these waves come from? Did a boat just go by or something?
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Megan
