Guy driving by, yelling out the window: I like sex!!
Same guy driving by a minute later: I like sex!
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Tourist guy: I hate these tourists! They think they’re so cool, just coming down for the weekend in their little homes, fucking up the traffic and making parking difficult. Go home!
Local teen: Your license plate says you’re from Pennsylvania.
Tourist guy: I rent for the summer. I guess I’m kinda like you, in a sense.
Local teen: Bitch, please.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: beach native
Canadian girl to Americans: Oh my god! You guys speak Canadian? We’ve been looking for other people who speak Canadian!
American guy: Yup, only Canadian. No American or English. Only Canadian.
Canadian girl: Awesome! Me, too!
–Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
Vendor: Okay, here’s your small fries and Diet Coke. Will that be all?
Lady: That’s a Diet Coke, right?
Vendor: Right, I just poured it. Diet Coke.
Lady: You’re sure? Diet? Not regular?
Vendor: That’s right. It’s Diet Coke.
Lady: Because I’m pregnant and I don’t want to harm my baby, so I can only have Diet Coke until my due date.
–Garry Point, Richmond, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: appalled customer waiting for fish and chips
Blonde: Hey, what time is it?
Redhead: Real time or pretend time?
Blonde: You told me you changed your phone over already, so just tell me what it says!
Redhead: 4:03.
Blonde: So it’s only three o’clock in my head still…
Redhead: I offered to tell you pretend time!
Blonde: But I wanted to do the math myself!
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jenn
Guy sharing Ferris wheel with family: Good thing they fixed this cart, it was broken yesterday.
Old lady: Have you ever been slapped by a complete stranger?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: girl #1
Cyclist to another: I ran into Jerry Seinfeld and I said, “Jerry, you sold out.”
–Bike Path, Santa Monica, California
Girl #1: So, I want to move somewhere cool and foreign.
Girl #2: Yeah, that would be great. Where?
Girl #1: I dunno, somewhere like San Francisco or Australia.
Girl #2: That would be so cool.
–Mission Bay, San Diego, California
Girl: What kind of fish is this?
Waitress: Alaskan cod.
Girl: Do ya’ll catch that around here?
Waitress: Uh, no. [pointing] That’s the Gulf of Mexico.
–Seafood restaurant, Galveston Island, Texas
Chick: Fuck, I stepped on a piece of glass!
Dude: Was it beach glass?
Chick: I don’t know… We’re at the beach… Probably.
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: monkey
