Stupidity

Jersey woman, to seagull: Get away, you lazy sonofabitch! Go find your own food! [to friends] Just like Mexicans.

–Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Dan

Irritated mother: So, the dance is really just a DJ playing music for an hour, it's very informal.
Blonde teen: So, does that mean it's unformal?

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: hahahahaha

Girl waiting for busy elevator: I hate this elevator! It always takes so long. They should just make one go up and the other go down.

–Atlantic Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Smithra

Stoner #1: Man I love NPR. That All Things Considered shit is so freaking good.
Stoner #2: I know, right? It’s like they don’t not consider anything.
Stoner #3: Ummm… Yeah, it’s exactly like that.

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: That little broad

Preppy 30-something guy: I mean, all the clubs in Europe are naked clubs now. (pause) Seriously, like, everybody’s naked!

–Indian Wells Beach, New York

Mechanic, returning car: I got a wireless cable.

–Wildwood Crest, New Jersey

Bimbette #1: I can’t believe you’re trying to learn Spanish just so you can hook up with that waiter.
Bimbette #2: [Mutters in Spanish.]Bimbette #1: What are you trying to say?
Bimbette #2: My eyes are brown.
Bimbette #1: You just said my eyes are a Muslim religion!

–Rocky Point, Mexico

Overheard by: oh my

Tourist: What do they do with the beach in the winter?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Travis

Chubby eight-year-old boy, walking and kicking sand up with his feet: Woah! Ma! Look at this! They've even got real sand here!
Exasperated mom, clutching French fries: No shit! It's real sand! Buying fake sand would be dumb. Everyone would steal it.

–The Bahamas

Overheard by: Fake sand maker

Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Chad