Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!
–Discovery Bay, California
Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!
–Discovery Bay, California
Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Danny
A group of pedestrians is almost run down by several cyclists.
Girl #1: Are we walking on the bike path?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I hate us.
–Lake Nokomis, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Aaron Johnson
White trash mother to crying infant: Would you stop being such an asshole? Jesus, you’re just a selfish bastard like your father.
–Scarborough Beach, Rhode Island
Overheard by: girl in bikini pretending to read
Conservative mom on cell: Julia, you just can’t bring your kids here and let them swim naked… What? Yes, Julia, it’s illegal.
–51st Street, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Unexpecting Beach Reader
Teen: You guys went to bed at 11:30, what's wrong with you?
–Beach Lake, Pennsylvania
Girl #1: It tastes like soap!
Girl #2: Yeah, but not unpleasantly so.
–Adelaide, Australia
Ditz #1: I would love to be a Buddhist.
Ditz #2: Yeah, it’s really spiritual.
Ditz #1: Yeah, all the meditating and stuff…
Ditz #2: Yeah…
Ditz #1: … But not a full Buddhist — that would be boring.
Ditz #2: Yeah, just do it for the yoga and stuff.
–Jetty Road, Glenelg, Australia
Chick on cell: Yeah, we got a ticket for going 80 miles per hour on the way here, though. Wanna know why? We were trying to catch up to a giant truck full of chickens!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: K
Mom hands little boy a hot dog.
Little boy: Oh, thank you, Lord!
Mother: I am not the Lord!
Little Boy: Well, thanks, Mom.
Mother: I hate you.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Sitting nearby, LOLing.
