Girl #1: Oh, man! So, for Christmas my dad is letting me get my cartilidge pierced! I’m so excited!
Girl #2: Oh, man, that’s so cool! I want to get mine done, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’ll only ever get my ears pierced. Everything else is so gross and weird.
Girl #3: Yeah, well, I have my clit pierced — do you think that’s weird?
Girl #2: What’s a clit?
–Nags Head, North Carolina
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: I can’t believe you were about to go up to him and say that. Ha, ha, ha.
Cheesy 15-year-old girl: Wouldn’t be the first time I made someone cry.
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: You’re a whore.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before.
–Pacific Palisades, California
Overheard by: ear of the betafish
Queer #1 reaching for sunscreen: Okay, I need someone to do my back!
Queer #2: Ewww.
Queer #1: Oh, shut up you skanky-ass, motherfucking whore!
–Cherry Grove Beach, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Marizzle
Guy: I just gave birth to a beach ball, and my wrist is sore.
Girl: It must work differently for guys.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Frenchie
Driver, turning off radio and looking back: You know you live in a shitty neighborhood when you can't tell if the sirens are coming from outside or your gangster rap cd.
–Sulphur Springs, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Killsborough
Young mother #1: I am just so pissed that I have to wait until Wednesday to find out if I’m pregnant or not. I really want to go out drinking tonight.
Young mother #2: So? I never let that hold me back.
Young mother #1: Yeah, that’s gotta be why little Eric* has a third nipple.
–Sachuest Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Rebecca
Goth girl #1: So, the stupid cam won’t fucking stop following me.
Goth girl #2: [Hiccuping.]Goth girl #1: And I can’t adjust it or anything.
Goth girl #2: [Hiccuping.]Goth girl #1: So it’s really fucking–
Goth girl #2: –[Hiccuping.]Goth girl #1: Would you fucking stop it?!
–Venice Beach, California
Tourist guy: I hate these tourists! They think they’re so cool, just coming down for the weekend in their little homes, fucking up the traffic and making parking difficult. Go home!
Local teen: Your license plate says you’re from Pennsylvania.
Tourist guy: I rent for the summer. I guess I’m kinda like you, in a sense.
Local teen: Bitch, please.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: beach native
Cyclist to her friend: I’ve had trouble sleeping ever since I got zapped by lightning.
–Monterey, California
Overheard by: RhiannonStone
