Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
A black man cuts in line ahead of two anorexic JAPs.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why are we here again?
Anorexic JAP #2: Ugh, I know! This would never happen back in Boca!
Black man: Eat something, you Jewish popsicles!
Anorexic JAP #1: Did he just ask us to give him a blowjob?
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Laughing
Guy: I’m coming! I’m coming! Be gentle!
–Through a motel wall, Cape May, New Jersey
Teen girl #1: God, I hate when people bring their cell phones to the beach.
Teen girl #2: I have my cell phone at the beach right now.
Teen girl #1: Me too.
–Ocean Beach, New Jersey
Girl: Oh my God! This water is really cold, can you turn the heater up?
Lifeguard, returning from locker room: There you go, it should be better now.
Girl: Hey, this really does feel warmer. Thanks, lifeguard!
–Caroga Lake, New York
Overheard by: Marc Wiley
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Old lady: This isn’t a nude beach!
Young lady, sunbathing topless and feigning surprise: Oh, really? Oh, okay…
–Auckland, New Zealand
Overheard by: Shakira
Thin little girl: Let me see it! Let me see it!
Fat little girl: No! MY dead fish!
–Lake Erie, Monroe, Michigan
Overheard by: sandra g
Boston woman in her late 50s: … And it’s not like it used to be. Jamaica Plain has become so culturally diverse… It’s so unfortunate!
Sunburned woman in her late 50s: Um. Where is that sunscreen?
–Surfside Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: KP
