Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.
–Aruba
Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.
–Aruba
Kid #1: Wanna make a sand castle?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go swimming?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go eat ice cream?
Kid #2: Wanna go die?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
40‐year‐old yuppie man: Yeah! I think a detox kiosk is a great idea!
–La Jolla, California
Overheard by: Confetti Bomb
Walking vendor: Oh, I know you! I fucked your sister on your front lawn! Your parents have a really bad grub problem. They should take care of that.
–Charlestown, Rhode Island
Aristocrat: Muscles are trashy.
–Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Spencer
20‐something girl, coming out of the ocean: This water’s salty!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Girl #1: I mean, I could force a relationship right now. I just don’t want to.
Girl #2: Uh‐huh.
Girl #1: We really don’t have that much in common.
Girl #2: Uh‐huh.
–Dewey Beach, Rehoboth, Delaware
Overheard by: Alaina
Teen boy: Fucking faggots!
Queer: How can he tell I’m gay?
Lesbo: How can he tell I’m a lesbian? What, do we exude a flamboyantly‐homosexual aura or something? Fuck, we’re cuddling with a member of the opposite gender, and people still know we’re gay! Damn, it’s like P.E. class all over again.
–Delta, British Columbia, Canadia
Son: These are pretty good.
Dad: Yeah, they’re not bad if you soak them in your mouth like sausage.
–Nauset Light Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith
Mother: Both of my daughters are allowed to marry Orlando Bloom if they ever want to. That is one gorgeous boy.
Father: Who’s Orlando Bloom?
Daughter #1: An elf.
Mother: No, he’s not.
Daughter #2: Yes, he is — he was Legolas in the Lord of the Rings.
Father: The elf was played by a black man?
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
