Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Look at that guy's balls!
Drunk girl #2: Where?!
Drunk girl #1: Around his neck!
Drunk girl #2: Wow! They're huge!
–Rocky Point, Mexico
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Look at that guy's balls!
Drunk girl #2: Where?!
Drunk girl #1: Around his neck!
Drunk girl #2: Wow! They're huge!
–Rocky Point, Mexico
Drunk guy to girl: Hey, heeeeey. Sometimes I think about dolphins.
Girl (annoyed): Okay…
Drunk guy: Yes! See, they have sex for pleasure, like humans.
(girl giggles and walks away with friends)
–Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia
Drunk guy being dragged out of bar, yelling: But she promised she would suck my balls!
–Cold Keg, Melbourne, Florida
Hungover girl: Ahh, I feel like shit.
Less hungover girl: Yeah, I can’t believe we did that last night.
Hungover girl: What?…What are you talking about?
Less hungover girl: Cassie…the trampoline?
Hungover girl: Oh my God! Who saw that?!
–Ramsey Beach, Minnesota
Drunk dude: My girlfriend said I could have butt sex with a hooker at the bachelor party if I promised never to bring up butt sex again when I get home.
–Brigantine Beach, New Jersey
Teen girl: I can’t believe I’m drunk! I’m drunk! In Italy! I am 17 and drunk. Oh yeah, and I’m with my parents! The first time I’m drunk, in a foreign country, under 21, with you people, and I’m in Italy?
Teen girl’s mother: It is better this way. At least you are with people who care.
–Nova Siri, Italy
Overheard by: only other american in the place
Drinking dude: He was a cool guy until he pissed in the closet.
–Long Beach, New York
Drunk college boy: Come get drunnnk!
Sober college girl: Nah I have a massive exam tomorrow, I gotta study.
Drunk college boy: Study… Like a fish.
–Gold Coast, Australia
Drunk law student, down on one knee: Will you marry me?
Drunk girl he just met, giggling: Of course!
Drunk law student to friend five minutes later: That’s not binding if it’s just oral, right?
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Drunk sunbather: Have I told you I hate kites? I just hate them. They make me want to vomit. Also, I don’t like adjectives, so don’t call this a ‘tasty sandwich.’
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: pole
