Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I’d totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don’t
Random, possibly drunk lady at bar: 1, 2, 3, 4, who do we appreciate?
–Thai Restaurant, Honolulu, Hawaii
Drunk guy #1: You keep condoms and stamps in your wallet?
Drunk guy #2: Yeah.
Drunk guy #1: So what are you gonna do, bang her and send her a thank you note?
–Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Well, it WOULD be a nice gesture…
Drunk mother: So, do… When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk father: Well, the older one can stay up later tonight… What the fuck is that kid’s name…?
Drunk mother: Brianna?
Drunk father: Who the hell…? I mean, Sabrina.
Drunk mother: You’re holding Sabrina.
Drunk father: Cassie! Send the other two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up later. [Baby in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.
–Beach campground, Mindon, Ontario, Canadia
Drunk mother #1: I met him at a bar. He looked like George Clooney… But we’ll see.
Drunk mother #2: Wait, aren’t you dating someone?
Drunk mother #1: Not anymore. He just doesn’t know it yet.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
College chick eating chocolate rice pudding: It kinda looks like poop, but it’s so yummy!
Drunk girl: Don’t eat poop. It’s not good for you.
–Majesty of the Seas cruise ship
Drunk college student, spilling wine on herself: Oh great. Now I’m wet all over!
Drunk college boy nearby: What! Who said that!?
–Gold Coast, Australia
Drunk Spanish rock dude: This soap, it smells like penis.
–Santander, Spain
Overheard by: Murray
