Little girl to mom: The seaweed tickles! It's like Baby Jesus is underwater, tickling my feet himself!
–Vero Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Incredulous
Little girl to mom: The seaweed tickles! It's like Baby Jesus is underwater, tickling my feet himself!
–Vero Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Incredulous
Outraged hippie chick: Someone drew a pentagram in my Zen garden!
–Seal Beach, California
Dude: You know you’re turning me on, right?
Hootchie: Do you want me to stop?
Dude: No. No, I don’t.
Hootchie: If you didn’t have a girfriend, I’d fuck you so hard you wouldn’t recognize Jesus.
–Newport, Oregon
Overheard by: Sonora
(in line at a grocery checkout)
Guy: I'm really excited about watching more movies, old ones and new ones. (pause) Now that I've got my soul back.
–Huntington Beach, California
Surfer: It’s questions like these that you have to look to the Bible for answers. Like, what would Jesus do in a line-up like this? He’d fuck people up, that’s what He’d do!
–Shell Beach, California
Overheard by: One of the masses in the line up
Girl, drinking spiked hot chocolate: Oh my god, it's like Jesus died in my mouth!
–Arcata, California
Ditz #1: I would love to be a Buddhist.
Ditz #2: Yeah, it’s really spiritual.
Ditz #1: Yeah, all the meditating and stuff…
Ditz #2: Yeah…
Ditz #1: … But not a full Buddhist — that would be boring.
Ditz #2: Yeah, just do it for the yoga and stuff.
–Jetty Road, Glenelg, Australia
Mom hands little boy a hot dog.
Little boy: Oh, thank you, Lord!
Mother: I am not the Lord!
Little Boy: Well, thanks, Mom.
Mother: I hate you.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Sitting nearby, LOLing.
Cute Jewish on cell, to mother: Are you calling me just to fucking nag? Cuz if you are, I am hanging up. (pause) I don't know, I'm going to do what every Jew does on Christmas, go to the movies and eat Chinese food!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Hot tan girl reading specials board: Does that say tuna and Jews?
Hot pale girl: Um, no. That says “with chips.”
–Crazy Gringo, Weirs Beach, New Hampshire
