“Jews for Jesus” guy: You like Superman? Take this pamphlet. Read it with all your friends. It will be story time!
Hands out pamphlet that metaphorically describes Jesus as Superman.
Girl: I didn’t realize Jews worshipped Superman.
–Jones Beach, New York
Guy: So how’s Bob?
Girl: He’s okay. They went in and found the tumor and took it out. They still need to do a biopsy to see what it is, but they think they got it all.
Guy: Yeah, but how is he?
Girl: He says he’s got a big headache.
Guy: Well, yeah, of course he’s got a headache!
Girl: Yeah, huh? The guy did just have brain surgery. But you know Bob. He was back in business on Friday, still selling herb, but now he’s got a patch on his head. “We gotta get back to normal!“
Guy: That’s a New York Jew for you.
Girl: You said it, not me.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Sunny Reiser
Teen girl #1: Have you been going to church lately?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I found a new church I really like.
Teen girl #1: Really?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, it like smells all creepy, and, like, they speak in tongues. It is really scary, so I will probably go to this one!
Teen girl #1: Cool. Maybe I’ll go with you.
–Shilshole Beach, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Why do those people have goatskins on?
Atheist: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear … ” (pause) Wow! I have no idea where that came from.
Bible‐lover: Actually it’s from the Bible: John, chapter 4, verse 18.
Atheist: Oh, fuck! Man…
–Hanover Beach, Indiana
Overheard by: triz3en
Girl: I’m such a Jew when it comes to…
Boy, exasperated: Why can’t you just say “frugal”?!
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
A black man cuts in line ahead of two anorexic JAPs.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why are we here again?
Anorexic JAP #2: Ugh, I know! This would never happen back in Boca!
Black man: Eat something, you Jewish popsicles!
Anorexic JAP #1: Did he just ask us to give him a blowjob?
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Laughing
Elderly woman wearing metal curlers, on cell: So I was masturbating to Human Centipede the other day, and it occurred to me I haven’t gone to mass in like, forever!
–Tampa, Florida
19‐year‐old boy: I want to make a shirt that says “Keep Allah out of downtown New York” and wear it to Ground Zero.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Couldn’t Agree More
Queer: So, like, let me get this straight. God got this lady pregnant and made her have a baby and then killed it so you could get away with whatever shit you wanted as long as you felt sorry?
Christian guy: Wow… I’ve never heard it put that way…
Queer: Sorry, I meant he killed him, it was a boy.
–Santa Cruz, California
Little girl: What does that sign mean?
Father: That means ‘Pedestrians,’ sweetie.
Little girl: Are we pedestrians?
Father: Yes, we are.
Little girl: Oh… I thought we were Catholics.
–Beach near Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands
Overheard by: Daan
