Older woman: You don’t remember me, do you?
Young woman: Nope.
Older woman: You lived next door to me when you lived with your aunt in Salem!
Young woman: Salem?
Older woman: Salem, New Hampshire.
Young woman: I don’t have an aunt in Salem.
Older woman: Oh, come on, don’t you remember?
Young woman: I never lived in New Hampshire. I have lived in Maine my whole life.
Older woman, sarcastically: Yeah…Okay.

–Wells Beach, Maine

Overheard by: Vee‐licious

Lifeguard #1: So, what would you do if somebody came to you with a bat bite?
Lifeguard #2: Ummm… Clean up the wound, I guess.
Lifeguard #1: [Long pause] What would you do for someone with a clown bite?

–Echo Lake, Maine

Older guy: We had dinner there earlier in the week. I got food poisoning.
Young kayaking guide: Really? Was it good?

–York Beach, Maine

Girl: I lost my butthole! Oh, wait, there it is!

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: Misaki

WASP girl: I saw three of them, and they all looked the same. I think they were Mexicanese?

–Bar Harbor, Maine

Overheard by: dulcineaesq

Tourist, about the tide: Where does all the water go?

–Ogunquit Beach, Ogunquit, Maine

Overheard by: C’mon

Girl: Excuse me, what lake is this?
Street vendor: The Atlantic one.

–Portland, Maine

Woman #1: Oh my goodness, you should see your daughter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eating cherries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her – it’s adorable!

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: shawshank

Preppy 60‐something #1: Now you only owe me 10,463 martinis.
Preppy 60‐something #2: Yep, she owes me a bunch, too.

–Kennebunkport, Maine

Overheard by: Amused Locals

Girl: Instead of “fisting” would elephants do “trunking”?
Guy: Wouldn’t that be redundant? You know, trunk… Penis…
Girl: Yeah, maybe trunking is just elephant oral. (pause) That is a sentence I never thought I would ever say.

–Bar Harbor, Maine