Asian people

American: Why did she stare at me like that? Is my accent that horrible? Did I say something wrong?
Japanese-American: Your accent isn’t that bad. But you made the Japanese “fuck you” gesture with your hands.

–Beach near Tokyo

Teen boy: Ugh. This tanning oil gets so hot! Maybe it will fry off my back zits. Hey, move over, I want to lay down so the sun will burn off my back zits.

–Beach, Rhode Island

Chubby man, kicking around the sand: Hey, have you guys seen a set of keys over here?
Asian girl: Um. No. Sorry.
Chubby man: Shit. I must have buried the car keys in the sand on accident. My wife’s gonna kill me.
Asian girl: I haven’t seen any keys, unfortunately.
Chubby man: Hey, do you think the beach has a Lost and Found box anywhere?

–Big Beach, Maui, Hawaii

Overheard by: Responsible Tourist

Asian guy: We should get some fish and chips.
Asian girl: Ooh, I love tartar sauce. It’s my favorite continent.
Asian guy: What?

–Steveston Pier, Richmond, British Columbia

Dude: Yo, that guy’s Asian as hell!

–Nag’s Head, North Carolina

Overheard by: alxie

Trendy Asian chick: I've seen a lot of transvestites in my day, but only one with a beard.
Old, well-dressed Mexican man: He must have forgotten to shave.

–Newport Beach, California

White guy to Asian girl made up like Thai hooker: Hey, are you waiting for me?

–Santa Monica Pier, California

Overheard by: Ann

Chinese guy #1, taking picture: It’s too bad the American flag is fluttering in the background.
Chinese guy #2, posing for the shot: Don’t worry, I’ll photoshop it to a Chinese flag on my computer.

Translated from the Chinese.

–Laguna Beach, California

Overheard by: Jackie

Skinny, half naked black guy wearing purple booty shorts: “do you guys do drugs?”
College kids: “no…”
Black guy: “oh I do…I'm a drug addict. Yeah, I just came from a rave, there are some crazy people out there! Why are y'all sitting here in the middle of venice beach? It gets dangerous here at night!”
College kid (holding an orange): “well, I'm strapped, so…”
Black guy: “is that an orange? Can I have it?” (takes orange and walks away).

–Venice Beach

Overheard by: Keidi

Guy (sarcastically): You're like the smartest person I know. You're practically einstein.
Girl: I… Don't really get sex jokes.

–Bethany Beach

Overheard by: upgrade