New York

Kid #1: Hey -how you gonna go in the water, come back and be dry already?
Kid #2: Cause I’m black.
Kid #1: [Pause.] Hey, shut up.

–Brighton Beach, New York

Overheard by: Emily

Druggie hipster #1 to friend out of earshot: Hey! Hey, you! Hey! Come here!
Druggie hipster #2: Ugh, what’s her name? Come here! Hey!
Black guy passerby: Hey, white bitch!

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Audra

Guy: This tastes like nuclear horse piss!

–Jones Beach Theater, New York

Man, walking with friend on pier, pointing at full moon reflecting water: In Hawaii, you see the stars reflecting in the water.

–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York

Overheard by: Janelle

Mom: Honey, what are you doing?
Daughter: Going under the umbrella, because I don’t want my butt to get parched.

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: Kara

Latino guy #1: I'm gonna fuck her so hard she'll feel it in her culo.
Latino guy #2: If she really loved you, she'd let you stick it in her culo.

–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Geni

Young 20-something guy, while texting: Is tranny spelled with one “n” or two?

–Ferry, Fire Island, New York

Guy: Yo, where's that sunscreen at?
Girl: You don't need any sunscreen, we're black, we have a natural SPF factor of 8.

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: KL

Girl looking for spot to lay down with family: Can we not go where there are so many shells?

–Point Lookout, New York

Overheard by: Rachel

Queer: Josh! If you don’t put your ass away right now, I’m gonna fuck it!

–Fire Island Pines, Brookhaven, New York

Overheard by: Your Buddy in Blue