New York

Guy selling belly and tongue rings: If you got the hole, we got the thing for it!

–Coney Island, New York

Dude #1: All I'm saying is, at some point she'll be 23 and damn sexy.
Dude #2: You have a good point.

–Cupsogue Beach, Westhampton, New York

Overheard by: sas

Queer #1 reaching for sunscreen: Okay, I need someone to do my back!
Queer #2: Ewww.
Queer #1: Oh, shut up you skanky-ass, motherfucking whore!

–Cherry Grove Beach, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: Marizzle

Little kid, running in tears: I'm in the twilight zone! Adults are playing with sand!

–Coney Island Beach, Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: ksenka

Carnie kid: Yo, my friend over there thinks you’re cute.
Girl: Uh… okay.
Carnie kid: He wants to guess your weight.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: carnie lover

Girl on beach to group of friends: My college roommate worked at Hooters, she's nice but she's a slut-and-a-half!

–Brighton Beach, New York

Young boy excitedly walking out of the ocean with father: Mom! It's still so early in the morning and I already almost drowned!

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: jt

Drunk camper: If that dude actually comes back with a fish and starts slapping people with it, I’m leaving this island. That is just way more intensity than I am prepared to deal with.

–Lake George, New York

Overheard by: Sneaker

Female Hamptons yuppie: Tequila goes straight to my crotch.

–The Hamptons, New York

Overheard by: Mike

Jock: Don’t diabetics have to check their pH level?

–Long Beach, New York