Girls

Mom, holding bag of ashes: (whispers)
Girl: Mom, stop talking to dad! It's creepy.

–Huntington Beach, California

Bikini #1: What ocean is this beach on? Is it sad that I don't even know?
Bikini #2: No, I dunno either. I'm bad at history.

–Palm Beach, Florida

Hot girl to friend: No, no, my underwear comes home with me every time; my panties will be no one's trophy.

–Target, Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Candace

Guido: I really wanna get a tan today.
Bored girl: Sure.
Guido: Do you think there's enough sun to get a tan today?
Bored girl: I don't know. Maybe.
Guido: Will going in the water help me get a tan?
Bored girl: It might.
Guido: I really wanna get tan.
Bored girl: So where are you going to college?

–Coney Island

Girl on cell: Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm in the library. (pause) Yes. (pause) No, I can't talk, I'm studying.

–Blemar Beach, New Jersey

Girl: What is that?!
Guy, flipping it over: Oh my God. Are those eye sockets?
Girl: Ewww. That’s no jellyfish.
Guy: It looks like an alligator head.
Girl: But alligators aren’t in salt water. Maybe it got lost?
Guy: Look it has a…spine?
Girl: But a head wouldn’t have a-
Woman sitting nearby: -It’s a chicken breast. I just threw it out.
Girl and Guy: Oh.

–St. Augustine, Florida

Overheard by: Cristen

Girl, as brother attempts to bury her in the sand: Why am I the one who gets to be buried?!
Boy: Cause no one wants to see you. Now lie down!

–Balm Beach, Ontario, Canada

Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.

–Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: SB

Latina #1: I wanna go to Italy.
Latina #2: Girl, you don't even know how to spell “Italy.”
Latina #1: Well…do you?

–Smiths Point, New York

Overheard by: suzz

Girl: So, when Daddy said that his girlfriend was coming to stay the night it was a bad thing?
Mother: Yes, dear.
Girl: Does this mean I get two Christmases and two birthdays, like Ashlee?

–Parua Bay, New Zealand

Overheard by: naughtygurl