Physical Appearance

Transmitted over lifeguard radio: We have a woman here reporting a lost man. Asian, approximately 40 years old, responds to the name ‘Lucky T.’

–Riis Park, New York

Woman on beach: Ah, I didn't come to the beach to get wet! It's getting in my hair, on my shoes. Where are the car keys?

–Port Elgin, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Linz

Teenage boy #1: Dude, look at that hot chick… And she's topless!
Teenage boy #2: That's a man in in a speedo, you idiot.
Teenage boy #1: Oh. (look of disgust)

–Long Beach, New York

Granddaughter: Did you have fun in Hong Kong?
Grandma: Well, yes, there was a lot of Asian food.
Grandpa: And the people were all shorter than you!
Granddaughter: Really…

–Jetty Road, Glenelg, Australia

Girlfriend in spa, whose bikini top is suddenly filling with air from the spa-jets: Ai! My top is blowing off!
Boyfriend: That's okay, it's not as if it was supporting anything.

–Hobart, Australia

Overheard by: JW

Seven-year-old: Dude, your sister needs hotter friends.
Friend: Well, there's the blond one.
Seven-year-old: What's her name?
Friend: I forget.
Seven-year-old: Dude! If they're hot, you remember their names!

–Ocean Beach, New Jersey

American girl, looking at girl with shaved head: Oh my God, I feel soo bad for her.
American friend #1: ‘Cause she has cancer?
American friend #2: Or she’s a dyke.
American girl: Either way, it sucks!

–Herzliya Beach, Herzliya, Israel

Lifeguard to group of other lifeguards, as rescued 14-year-old swimmer walks away: Did anyone notice all her hickies?

–North Bondi, Australia

Overheard by: Ggary

Girl to friend in hot-pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day?

–Lake Michigan

Little Miss Texas slathering on more baby oil: I don’t know why I’m gettin’ all these little wrinkles around my eyes, do y’all?

–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii