Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Look at that guy's balls!
Drunk girl #2: Where?!
Drunk girl #1: Around his neck!
Drunk girl #2: Wow! They're huge!
–Rocky Point, Mexico
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Look at that guy's balls!
Drunk girl #2: Where?!
Drunk girl #1: Around his neck!
Drunk girl #2: Wow! They're huge!
–Rocky Point, Mexico
Awesome mom #1: Yeah, so they were going to adopt this baby from China, but when they saw her she was ugly and they decided not to get her.
Awesome mom #2: Oh, really? That’s too bad.
–Ferry Beach, Maine
Overheard by: shawshank
Elderly husband to leather-tanned wife taking top off on the beach: Jesus Christ, Mary! Put those things away,will you? Nobody wants to see that.
–Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
Blond woman, wrapping towel around her waist: I feel like my thighs are too fat to be at the beach.
Gay friend: Well, shit, now they look like they're in a sausage casing. Downgrade.
–Palmetto, Boca Raton, Florida
Girl #1: Look at that guy's head. It's so weirdly shaped.
Girl #2: Why does it do that at the back? Like, what's with the way it folds at the back?
Girl #1: Oooh, he has some nicely shaped biceps, though! Wow!
Girl #2: Yeah, he makes it obvious by putting his arms up like that to distract from his head.
Girl #1: He's totally doing that.
Girl #2: He's sitting there going, “hey ladies, don't look at my oddly shaped head. Look at my nicely shaped biceps instead.” (pause) Hey, that rhymed.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Rachel
Girl #1: There are so many pale, fat guys here in Speedos.
Girl #2: It’s like they don’t care.
Girl #1: I know.
Girl #2: It’s so not like this in America.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Teen bimbette: So I heard about this new band that just came out. The lead singer is really cute… they’re called The Doors.
–South California
Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French!
–Ocean Beach, New Jersey
Woman to husband, pointing at fat girl: Is she pregnant?
Husband: I don't know.
Woman: I'll ask Beth, Beth knows everything.
–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
World’s best wife: Honey, twelve o’clock.
Clueless husband: Huh? No, it’s not. It’s two-thirty.
World’s best wife: I mean twelve o’clock.
Clueless husband: I don’t get you.
World’s best wife: Look straight ahead.
Clueless husband: Why?
World’s best wife: Look at the hot chick right in front of you! Look! Look!
Clueless husband: Oh!…Niiice.
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
