Idiots

Pirates 2 Panned by Critics; Deemed Too 'Brainy,' 'Referential'

20-Something girl #1: Yeah, I fell asleep. It was a stupid movie! And that guy with the squid on his face, who was he, Medusa?
20-Something girl #2: You mean Davy Jones?
20-Something girl #1: Yeah. And I was like, what about The Monkees?
20-Something girl #2: There weren’t any monkeys.
20-Something girl #1: You’re too young to remember the Sixties. Davy Jones was in the Monkees.
20-Something girl #2: Um, Davy Jones the pirate came first. Haven’t you ever heard of Davy Jones’s locker?
20-Something girl #1: I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

–Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Instead, How About 'Beano' or 'Drano'?

Woman: Instead of saying hello, we should say heaveno. Hello gives Satan powers.

–Toronto, Ontario

Overheard by: $ue

So, You're from Europe? Do You Know John?

Guy on crowded boardwalk: Hey, you! You, over there! Hey, you in the bathing suit, I’m talking to you!

–Orchard Beach, Maine

God: Who Are You Kidding? I Get This Stuff at Costco

Girl: It’s so nice out today. I love natural wind.

–Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

Overheard by: Lindsay

The Lead Singer Picked Me Up in a Bar Last Night

Teen bimbette: So I heard about this new band that just came out. The lead singer is really cute… they’re called The Doors.

–South California

They'll Inevitably Lead to a Tongue Twister

Girl looking for spot to lay down with family: Can we not go where there are so many shells?

–Point Lookout, New York

Overheard by: Rachel

How the Marsden Family Ended Up Sold into Cambodian White Slavery

Tourist looking across bay: Is that Hawaii?
Passerby: Yeah. There’s a boat that comes by every half hour to bring people there.
Tourist: Thanks. Hey, honey! We’re going to Hawaii!

–Wharf, Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: El Blingo

Later We'll Eat Out of the Dumpster to Tune Up Our Immune Systems

Girl #1: Do you want to come run with me?
Girl #2: Yeah, just let me finish this cigarette.
Girl #1: Yeah. I think I’ll have one, too. It loosens up your lungs.

–Dewey Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Steve

When Freckles Pop Up, It Means You're Done

Girl #1: I get so many freckles in the sun.
Girl #2: Yeah, I am so going to get cancer in 2 years. I have so much sun damage.
Girl #3: Um, actually freckles just mean that your skin is working.

–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Jackie

And Water, or Something

Guy: Why is there water on the outside of my can?
Girl: I don’t know. I think it has to do with cold.

–Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Overheard by: Kristy

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