Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.
–Aruba
Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.
–Aruba
Tourist: So, what’s on the other side of the lake?
Lifeguard: Ummm, that’s not a lake — that’s the Atlantic Ocean.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Girl #1: Do you want to come run with me?
Girl #2: Yeah, just let me finish this cigarette.
Girl #1: Yeah. I think I’ll have one, too. It loosens up your lungs.
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Steve
Man in skirt to bald woman: Seriously… Marijuana‐fueled cars. It’d be great! Everyone would be high, and we’d have clean air!
–Avon, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tomatilla
German: We’ll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day…
–Los Angeles, California
Woman: So, since the hurricane is coming, are they going to put up the hurricane shield?
Municipal employee: Hurricane shield?
Woman: Yes, the hurricane shield. Doesn’t the city have a shield you put up to block the wind and such from the hurricane?!
Municipal employee: Ma’am, no such thing exists.
Woman, sarcastically: Well, aren’t you guys just the most prepared beach town in America!
Municipal employee: Have a wonderful day, ma’am.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Cebastian
20‐something girl, coming out of the ocean: This water’s salty!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Beach‐goer: Holy shit! Is that a squirrel in your panties?!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: BAJAZEUS
Lifeguard on megaphone: Attention, beach‐goers, due to the sunset, you must get out in 5 minutes or else we will turn the waves off.
Girl: Oh my God! Is he serious?!
–Huntington Beach, California
Teen girl #1 is making a crease in her towel and filling it with sand.
Teen girl #2: What the fuck are you doing?
Teen girl #1: Look! It’s ‘de Nile’!
Teen girl #2: What? You mean the Nile River? How could that be the Nile River? There’s no water involved!
Teen girl #1, after long pause: Well… Has anyone ever told you that you look like Danny DeVito?
–Jericho Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: bondgirl
