Grandma: So aren't you coming to visit me in 3 weeks.
Granddaughter: No, like 2 weeks and 6 days.
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Grandma: So aren't you coming to visit me in 3 weeks.
Granddaughter: No, like 2 weeks and 6 days.
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Boy #1: So “home run” means “married with babies”?
Boy #2: Yeah, but I like Grand Slams the best.
–Penfield Beach, Connecticut
Upset teenage daughter to mother: Mom, I can't have sugar! (pause) What is “creme brulee,” anyways?
–Huntington Beach, California
Girl on cell: Don't be worried! Incest is totally in this season.
–Tampa, Florida
Small child to mother as they watch hermit crabs: Mommy, are these the same kind of crabs Daddy brought home before we left?
–Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: Rick
Teen meathead #1: What are you?
Teen meathead #2: 100% Italian.
Teen meathead #1: Oh, really? That's mad cool.
Teen meathead #2: Yeah, but my brother is all different things–he's like Jewish and Irish and stuff.
–Lido Beach West, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: ally
Mother, holding one son in the ocean and calling another on shore: See? The water's fantastic. You have nothing to worry about.
Four-year-old son, crying: I don't want to die here!
–Palm Beach, Aruba
Guy sharing Ferris wheel with family: Good thing they fixed this cart, it was broken yesterday.
Old lady: Have you ever been slapped by a complete stranger?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: girl #1
Man, carrying two hands full of knives: Knives for sale! Knives for sale! 100 dollars! Getting tired of your brother, your cousin, your mother-in-law? Knives for sale! You feeling suicidal? Knives! Knives for sale! 100 dollars!
–Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Elle
Daughter, to mom: So how do you know when to just lay there and when to beat them off?
–Ocean Beach, San Diego, California
