Little girl: Why is the ghost still here?
Dad: She just likes to come back and say hi from the spirit world.
Little girl: But why does she throw books?
Dad: She doesn't throw books, she just likes to read. And she's a little drunk.
–Hotel Del Coronado, San Diego, California
Guy: Does my face smell like vagina?
Girl: I doubt it [sniffs his face]. Well, maybe a little.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Female Hamptons yuppie: Tequila goes straight to my crotch.
–The Hamptons, New York
Overheard by: Mike
Girl #1: Dude, my retainer smells nasty!
Girl #2: Just put a little bleach on it.
Girl #1: Wouldn't that kill me?
Girl #2: Yeah, but it will make your teeth whiter.
–Tampa, Florida
30-something blonde: I was really calm, which is such a feat for me. Especially this day, since I had just bought an ice cream cone and the bottom of the cone was all soggy.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, Stuart, there is something gooey on my towel!
Stuart: Where did you get the towel from?
Ditzy blonde: Next to your bed.
Stuart: Oh, um…it must be hair gel!
–Terrigal, Australia
Teenage girl to friend: Ew! You just slapped your condensation on me!
–Block Island, Rhode Island
Overheard by: diorette
Teenage girl to friend: Ew! You just slapped your condensation on me!
–Block Island, Rhode Island
Overheard by: diorette
Lifeguard to group of other lifeguards, as rescued 14-year-old swimmer walks away: Did anyone notice all her hickies?
–North Bondi, Australia
Overheard by: Ggary
Preppy girl: Just close your eyes and envision me as a black lab puppy.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
