Sensory Experiences

Homeless guy to guy with extremely long hair: Oh my god! Is that hair real?
Guy with extremely long hair: Yes.
Homeless guy: Oh my god! I'm a midget!

–Santa Cruz, California

Adorable niece: I can see your wiener because I have X-ray vision!

–Corral Cabana Club, Tampa, Florida

Chick #1: So, yeah, he's still fuckin' with me… But not fucking fuckin' with me. Just with my head.
Chick #2: Oh, so he's not using his head to fuck with you. Just his other head?
Chick #1: Yep. You got it. It's a head fuck without the head.
Chick #2: Must be painful.
Chick #1: You don't fuckin' know the half of it.

–San Rafael, California

Overheard by: Head Games Suck, Or Not

Girl: My nipples are so sore! I think they’re sunburned.
Nipple-Savvy friend: Is that even possible?
Girl: What else would explain the pain? [Shows nipple]Nipple-Savvy friend: Maybe your boyfriend shouldn’t bite them so hard, yeah?
Girl: He didn’t bite them!
Nipple-Savvy friend: I can see the bite marks.
Girl: Oh.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: A beach bookreader

Loud man on cell, walking across bridge: So I just said, “I want it all! I want to see it all!”
60-year-old woman to teenage granddaughter: That's what she said.

–Balboa, California

Person #1: I don't want to go in the water.
Person #2: Why? We came all the way to the beach…
Person #1: It's cold in the water.
Person #2: You were the one that wanted to come.
Person #1: Yes, but I didn't want to go in the water.
Person #2: Why ever not?
Person #1: There are crabs in the water. I don't want people to think I'm promiscuous.

–Plymouth Beach, Virginia

Formerly smiling lifeguard: Great, I’ve got bird shit on me, and we have to listen to John Mayer!

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Kid #1: Hey -how you gonna go in the water, come back and be dry already?
Kid #2: Cause I’m black.
Kid #1: [Pause.] Hey, shut up.

–Brighton Beach, New York

Overheard by: Emily

Man with small child on his shoulders, rubbing his bald head: Rub harder! Make a wish!

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Arlene M Franks

Little boy #1: You can’t do it.
Little boy #2: Yes, I can.
Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul.
Little boy #2: Don’t underestimate my powers.

–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Lorraine