Girls

Southern belle: If I had gotten on that boat, I would have met the man of my dreams. We would have had an amazing time and I would have fallen madly in love. Then I'd go back to Arkansas and he'd forget about me, just like all the rest of them.
Friend: Yeah… Need a smoke?
Southern belle: Yes! Do you have menthol? I love menthol.

–Fort Myers Beach, Florida

Hot tan girl reading specials board: Does that say tuna and Jews?
Hot pale girl: Um, no. That says “with chips.”

–Crazy Gringo, Weirs Beach, New Hampshire

Girl #1: Do you think a guy would tell you if he had a girlfriend?
Girl #2: Yes, of course he would!

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: kate

Girl #1: But then I thought, ‘Why the hell would he kiss her when he has me?’
Girl #2: Uh, because of the herpes?
Girl #1: Fuck you.

–Cape May, New Jersey

Overheard by: J.Tro

Drunk white guy: Girl, I love you. You remind me of my friends from Philly!
Sober black girl: Why? Cause I'm black?
Drunk white guy: Yes. (pause) I felt you deserved an honest answer!

–Port Hueneme, California

Overheard by: honesty is the best policy

Puzzled blonde: Where did all these waves come from? Did a boat just go by or something?

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Megan

Guy: And something else I’ve thought about: what happened to God in between the Old and New Testaments? He went from vengeful to merciful. It just doesn’t make sense.
Girl: He found God.

–Jacksonville Beach, Florida

Girl #1: Oh my gawd, I love your new lips!
Girl #2: I was wondering when you’d notice! I like your flip flops.

–Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: Mana

Girl, loudly: I need to pee, but I’m still too close to other people.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: moving away quickly

Girl #1: I mean, why would he register as a Republican only to vote in the primary?
Girl #2: Ugh… Gross! You are not allowed to fuck a Republican!

–UCSD, California

Overheard by: Holiday