Latina #1: I wanna go to Italy.
Latina #2: Girl, you don't even know how to spell “Italy.”
Latina #1: Well…do you?
–Smiths Point, New York
Overheard by: suzz
Girl: So, when Daddy said that his girlfriend was coming to stay the night it was a bad thing?
Mother: Yes, dear.
Girl: Does this mean I get two Christmases and two birthdays, like Ashlee?
–Parua Bay, New Zealand
Overheard by: naughtygurl
Tanned girl: That’s not tanning lotion. That’s brown paint.
Pale girl: Well, it cost me $80 so it better get me your color. Besides, it says Tahitian women have been using it for years!
Tanned girl: Yeah, and Tahitian women have been having syphilis for years, too.
–Sporting Beach Club, Beirut, Lebanon
Overheard by: Nicolien
Guy: What's the capital of… Iraq?
Girl: Baghdad.
Guy: Lebanon?
Girl: Beirut.
Bimbo: Oh my god, how do you know all this? Have you been to these countries?
Girl #1: Yeah, because they're all such fun places to go visit…
Bimbo: I don't know any capitals except like Australia.
Guy: I'm sure you do, what about New Zealand?
Bimbo: That's a country?!
–Melbourne, Australia
Thin girl ordering funnel cake: I want so much powdered sugar on it that I don't want to be able to see the dough!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Blonde: So my mom fucked me last night.
Friend: She what?
Blonde: You know, held up her middle finger…
Friend: Um…
–Malibu, California
Ugly girl to hot friends: No, I want to have sex… I’m just not liking my odds right now.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: K
Teenage girl: Rosie O'Donnell has multiple personality disorder.
Friend: I thought she was a lesbian.
–Starbucks, La Jolla, California
Overheard by: …Which are mutually exclusive.
20-Something girl #1: Yeah, I fell asleep. It was a stupid movie! And that guy with the squid on his face, who was he, Medusa?
20-Something girl #2: You mean Davy Jones?
20-Something girl #1: Yeah. And I was like, what about The Monkees?
20-Something girl #2: There weren’t any monkeys.
20-Something girl #1: You’re too young to remember the Sixties. Davy Jones was in the Monkees.
20-Something girl #2: Um, Davy Jones the pirate came first. Haven’t you ever heard of Davy Jones’s locker?
20-Something girl #1: I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.
–Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Look at that guy's balls!
Drunk girl #2: Where?!
Drunk girl #1: Around his neck!
Drunk girl #2: Wow! They're huge!
–Rocky Point, Mexico