Drunk guy to others: Imagine how long it would take to fuck a spider. It would take ages!
–Dunedin, New Zealand
Drunk guy to others: Imagine how long it would take to fuck a spider. It would take ages!
–Dunedin, New Zealand
Amateur marine biologist #1: Why are they called jellyfish?
Amateur marine biologist #2: They taste like jelly. Duh.
Amateur marine biologist #1: Blueberry jelly?
Amateur marine biologist #2: I dunno. Taste it.
Amateur marine biologist #1, moments later: Cherry.
–Chesapeake Bay
Blonde: Oh my god, I’ve been watching ‘Shark Week’ on TV, and this guy got his hand bitten off. It was crazy! It was a show about survivors, and they showed the scars and everything!
Brunette: That is crazy. I don’t know how I’d live without my hands. I’d rather have the shark bite off my arm.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Steve
Man, ranting: …and then there's the fucking chicken!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: I always have that problem…
Four-year-old boy, winding up long conversation: And so that's why spiders live in your eyeballs. They play in the blood and love to drink dirty water. (pause) Can I have a snack?
–Santa Barbara, California
Hippie guy: I’m not against chickens!!…Look, I’m not against chickens.
–North Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Schwab
Preppy girl: So about this swine flu thing… like, who would want to have sex with a pig?
–Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: Kermit
Toddler: Mom, we are the hermit crabs that are going to change the world.
–Monterey, California
16-year-old girl holding sand crab: Look! I found a frog… or something.
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ashley
Girl: I'm really allergic to bugs, so that's why I'm scared of jellyfish.
–Destin, Florida
Overheard by: right, because jellyfish are just really big bugs
