Animals

Girl: What is that?!
Guy, flipping it over: Oh my God. Are those eye sockets?
Girl: Ewww. That’s no jellyfish.
Guy: It looks like an alligator head.
Girl: But alligators aren’t in salt water. Maybe it got lost?
Guy: Look it has a…spine?
Girl: But a head wouldn’t have a-
Woman sitting nearby: -It’s a chicken breast. I just threw it out.
Girl and Guy: Oh.

–St. Augustine, Florida

Overheard by: Cristen

Small child: Mama, I have crabs in my shorts!

–Panama City Beach, Florida

Overheard by: People Watcher

Husband, excited at seeing a washed up, dead whale: Carla? Do you remember how excited you were when you saw that deer? Well, wait ’til you see this!

–Fernandina Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Katred

Formerly smiling lifeguard: Great, I’ve got bird shit on me, and we have to listen to John Mayer!

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Random passer-by: Have you seen Shark Week? I'm not going in there!

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Anna

Young child, chasing friends: The only way to kill fish is by using acid! The only way to kill fish is by using acid!

–Jetty, South Australia

Drunk guy to girl: Hey, heeeeey. Sometimes I think about dolphins.
Girl (annoyed): Okay…
Drunk guy: Yes! See, they have sex for pleasure, like humans.
(girl giggles and walks away with friends)

–Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia

Teenage girl #1: And then I was all like, “I saw ducks!”
Teenage girl #2: God, that's such a stoner thing to say!

–Granite Bay, California

Overheard by: ducks are cool

Guy, looking at girlfriend's dog sniffing another dog: Dog breeding is awesome!

–Newport Pier, Newport Beach, California

Guy: This tastes like nuclear horse piss!

–Jones Beach Theater, New York