Loud woman, about sting rays: They have a six‐foot wingspan of five to six feet.
–Sea Life Park, Honolulu, Hawaii
Little boy: Ew, dad! Look! Dog poo!
Father: No, I think that’s bat poo.
Little boy: Batman’s poo?
–Byron Bay, Australia
Woman on boardwalk: Yesterday was a bad day. A dead dog washed up on the shore.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
20‐something girl, floating on waves: It’s like riding a cowboy… I mean, a bucking bronco.
20‐something friend: Or is it like riding a cowboy who’s riding a bucking bronco?
–WindMark Beach, Florida
Beach‐goer: Holy shit! Is that a squirrel in your panties?!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: BAJAZEUS
Mermaid to another: I’d be a lot less naked, but I just got sick of gluing seashells to myself.
–Mermaid Parade, Coney Island
Overheard by: shorty j
Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?
–Goleta Beach, California
Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?
–Goleta Beach, California
