Little girl: Mummy, mummy, look! It’s a shark!
Mum: No, sweetie, that’s Grandpa.
–Caloundra, Australia
Mother: Honey, do you want some cheddar cheese Pringles?
Kid: Sure.
Mother: See, they have zero grams trans fat. That’s really important now.
–Bradley Beach, Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Walrusy pink tourist mom, juggling McDonald's bags and towels: Are those seagulls following us?
Dancing pink tourist toddler: I want hanka burger and French-ah fries!
(seagulls swoop over them, attacking the bags)
Dancing pink tourist, shrieking: Oh my god! My French-ah fries!
–St. Peterburg Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
Mom hands little boy a hot dog.
Little boy: Oh, thank you, Lord!
Mother: I am not the Lord!
Little Boy: Well, thanks, Mom.
Mother: I hate you.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Sitting nearby, LOLing.
Mother to father: Oh my! Jerry, say something to that old man. His testicles are hanging out of his swimsuit.
Little girl: I have testicles. They’re in my mouth. [Opens mouth]Mother: Not tonsils. Testicles!
Father: Seven, and already MTV has ruined her.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Book Reading Beach Bum
Four-year-old girl: Daddy! Why did you knock over my sandcastle?!
Dad: Because you knocked over my sandcastle first.
(dad coolly turns to two-year-old son and begins playing with him)
Four-year-old girl, in hysterics: Daddy! I'm so angry at you!
Mom: Good honey, you're expressing your feelings really well.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Little boy pointing to black woman: Look, Mom! It’s a chocolate lady!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Jane
Little girl to boy: Guess what?
Boy: What?
Girl: I'm in George's hole!
–Diggers Beach, Australia
Overheard by: Maddy
Five-year-old girl looking at dead jellyfish: I wonder what flavor jelly it likes…
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
Overheard by: jared
Small girl: I want to see a penis.
Father: What?
Small girl: Mommy said we go to the beach to see lots of penises because there are none at home.
–Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Total Observer
