Kids

30-something mom dragging toddler down path: What do you mean your legs hurt? You're four years old! My legs don't even hurt and I'm like three times your age!

–Bay Shore, Long Island, New York

Kid: Yo, that chair’s sweet! How come you get to sit in that big chair? I wanna get one of them.
Lifeguard: Sorry. I just got here really early this morning before all these good chairs were taken.

–Riis Park, Rockaway, New York

Little boy to friend: You wouldn't even know about Jesus if it wasn't for me!

–Wild Wood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Andie

Son (looking at man in Speedo): Mom! Look at that man! He's wearing a bikini without a top!

–Long Island, New York

Little boy: My daddy isn’t here.
Girl #1: He isn’t here? Where is he?
Little boy: In the garbage.
Girl #2: Why is he in the garbage?
Little boy: He is in the garbage.
Girl #1: Why?
Little boy: Because he doesn’t like my Skechers.

–Cocoa Beach, Florida

Overheard by: megan

Little boy: If I was a girl, I would marry my cousin.

–Palm City, Florida

Overheard by: MD

Little girl, crying: He’s not coming! He said he was going to come, and now he’s not coming!
Apathetic, topless, overly-tan mom: Go home. Eat something.

–Palavas-les-Flots, France (translated from French)

Overheard by: Christine

Redneck mother: Where’d all this sand come from?
Redneck daughter: Disney, probably.

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Angela Cimato

Black woman to toddler running wild: Tyrone, get yo' black ass over here or I will spank you like a white man!

–Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: White girl

Cute four-year-old to slightly chubbier four-year-old digging hole in the sand: Whatcha doing?
Chubby four-year-old: You can't play with me.
Cute four-year-old: Oh. (pause) Well, you're fat. (walks away)

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: The Older Sister