Teenage Indian boy to friends running across hot sand: My people do this, so I should be able to also!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Rachel
Teen #1: Is he white?
Teen #2: Yes.
Teen #1: …Wait, does that count Michael Jackson?
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Teenage girl: Rosie O'Donnell has multiple personality disorder.
Friend: I thought she was a lesbian.
–Starbucks, La Jolla, California
Overheard by: …Which are mutually exclusive.
Teen Girl: I can't eat this ice cream.
Bruster's Employee: Why not?
Teen Girl: Because it's frozen in the middle.
Bruster's Employee: It's ice cream.
Teen Girl: I know, but it's frozen in the middle and I can't eat it.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Teen girl #1: Oh, I’m so happy for Candice!* She finally has a normal boyfriend!
Teen girl #2: Oh, that’s nice…Wait, is it that 29-year-old E dealer you guys met at that rave in Chilliwack?
Teen girl #1: Yes!
Long pause.
Teen girl #1: Well, it’s normal for her, I guess.
–English Bay, Vancouver, British Columbia
Blonde teen: On a scale from 1 to 10, how slutty am I?
Brunette teen: 10.
Blonde teen: What? Oh my god, you bitch!
Brunette: You tried to hook up with my father.
Blonde: Oh, yeah…
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Erin
Teenage girl #1: And then I was all like, “I saw ducks!”
Teenage girl #2: God, that's such a stoner thing to say!
–Granite Bay, California
Overheard by: ducks are cool
Teen boy, to anorexic teen girl #1: Why do you keep your phone in your thong?
Anorexic teen girl #2: Well, where else is she going to put it? She has no boobs.
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sam
20-Something daughter: Dad! Hurry up and take the picture; mom’s pressing her boobs into my back!
Mom: I’m sorry! You suckled from these boobs, you know.
20-Something daughter: Well, clearly I quit for a reason.
Dad: Yeah. Because you were too tired of fighting me for them.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Kate
Teenage girl in expensive yoga pants to meek mother: Move to France? Why the hell would I move to France? That's the dumbest thing I've heard you say in, like, forever. Stop trying to live your, like, stupid dreams and stuff through me!
–Coffee Shop in the Beach, Toronto, Canadia
