Language Barrier

Guy #1: The only problem I have with [my Blackberry] is when I have to type in French.
Guy #2: Oh. My problem with typing in French is that I hate everyone that I’m addressing.

–Jones Beach, New York

Brunette: When’s your anniversary?
Blonde: May.
Brunette: Oh, today?
Blonde: No, May.
Brunette: Oh, mine too.
Blond: When’s your anniversary?
Brunette: May.

–Rockaway Beach, New York

American beach‐goer #1: I wonder if the people here have trouble understanding us sometimes.
American beach‐goer #2: Why would they?
American beach‐goer #1: Because of our accents.
American beach‐goer #2: But we don’t have accents.

–Edinburgh, Scotland

Tourist with thick New Jersey accent: These people are so stupid! They don’t even speak American.

–Huatulco, Mexico

Male tourist speaking in German: Look at that guy’s Speedo!
Female tourist speaking in German: Eeew. And his friend really needs to shave his back.
Male tourist speaking in German: I am so glad no one understands what we are saying.
Female tourist speaking in German: I know!

–South Beach, Florida

Overheard by: German‐speaker

Guatemalan teen, passing American teen on the beach: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Huh? What?
Guatemalan teen: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Bro, I don’t know what you’re saying. I don’t speak Mexican or whatever that is.
Guatemalan teen: Want smoke weed?
American teen: Oh. Hell yeah, why didn’t you say that the first time?

–Monte Rico, Guatemala

Overheard by: MangoJoe

English girl reading menu: Oh my god. What? It’s all in foreign!

–Beach cafe, Northern France

Overheard by: Jess 

Saggy‐drawered kid: That woman carrying shit on her head.
Mother: Boy, you ain’t in Brooklyn anymore. This place different. And keep your voice down.
Saggy‐drawered kid: Hell, she don’t speak English. And what the hell computer boy gonna do, report me to the internet? 

–Tela Beach, Honduras

Overheard by: Computer boy, I assume

Mom: What did that lady ask you?
Little girl, wearing “Cerveza With a Smile” shirt: She asked what my shirt said.
Mom: Do you know what it says?
Grandpa: Service with a smile.

–Cedar Point, Ohio

Overheard by: devin the artist

Teen #1: So, do you, like, speak Spanish?
Teen #2: Yeah! Like a little.
Teen #1: So, what’d you like say to him?
Teen #2: I was like, “hola.”

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: MoMo