Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French!
–Ocean Beach, New Jersey
Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French!
–Ocean Beach, New Jersey
20-something girl: Guys, did you see the man in the woman's swimsuit over there?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, yeah, I saw him…
20-something girl: He has man legs…
Teen girl #1: But from a distance he could totally pass as a flat chick.
20-something girl: He can really pull it off, too. He has the hat and the glasses and everything.
Teen girl #2: Where's the tranny man? I want to see the tranny man!
–La Jolla, California
Overheard by: La Jollan
Little boy: Dad, why does that girl have her swim suit straps down like that?
Dad: So she doesn’t get tan lines on her shoulders. Yup, if your mom had those I never would’ve married her.
–Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Mindygotback
Blonde, very loudly: You know, if I was a guy, these bikini bottoms would really cut into my balls!
–Key West, Florida
Overheard by: Anne
Anorexic JAP #1: You look really good in that new swimsuit.
Anorexic JAP #2: I wish I could say the same to you, but you look a little pugdy around the hips.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why don’t you just do what I did? Lie.
–Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: JAP
Girl #1: That’s why I love the beach, there’s always someone in a bathing suit who looks worse than you!
Random beach dude: Sorry hun, today that’s just not the case.
Girl #2: Oh my god.
–Lake Ontario, New York
20-ish guy: I looked over at Sharon and didn’t think she had any bottoms on. Then a wave lifted up her stomach, and I saw that she did.
–Old Lyme, Connecticut
Overheard by: Ann
College girl to guy: Are you gonna put that thing in your bathing suit, or carry it?
–Hawaiian Inn, Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Do I wanna know?
Girl to guy with oddly-shaped swimsuit: What kind of a tan line do you have?
Guy: Get the hell away from me! I don’t know you!
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Tourist wife: Look at their butts. These bikinis are too small…Honey? Did you hear me?
Tourist husband: Huh?
Tourist wife: My point exactly.
–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
