Bathing suits

20‐ish guy: I looked over at Sharon and didn’t think she had any bottoms on. Then a wave lifted up her stomach, and I saw that she did.

–Old Lyme, Connecticut

Overheard by: Ann

College girl to guy: Are you gonna put that thing in your bathing suit, or carry it?

–Hawaiian Inn, Daytona Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Do I wanna know?

Girl to guy with oddly‐shaped swimsuit: What kind of a tan line do you have?
Guy: Get the hell away from me! I don’t know you!

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Tourist wife: Look at their butts. These bikinis are too small…Honey? Did you hear me?
Tourist husband: Huh?
Tourist wife: My point exactly.

–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see‐through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well…
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?

–Flagler Beach, Florida

Overheard by: the nearest sunbather

Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see‐through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well…
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?

–Flagler Beach, Florida

Overheard by: the nearest sunbather

Girlfriend: Oh my god, I am so hot!
Boyfriend: Then go in the water and cool off.
Girlfriend: I can’t! This bikini is dry clean only!

–Long Island, New York

Overheard by: carenexplainsitall

Guy: You look really hot in that bikini.
Girl #1: I’m not really in the mood for flirting today so why don’t you just buy me a lemon ice, I’ll pretend I like you, and we’ll both be on our way.
Guy, as he walks away: Bitch.
Girl #2, walking up to her: Wasn’t that your boyfriend?
Girl #1: Yeah. I’m so tired of him being a dick all the time.

Guy comes back with a lemon ice.

–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: Batwon

Guy: You look really hot in that bikini.
Girl #1: I’m not really in the mood for flirting today so why don’t you just buy me a lemon ice, I’ll pretend I like you, and we’ll both be on our way.
Guy, as he walks away: Bitch.
Girl #2, walking up to her: Wasn’t that your boyfriend?
Girl #1: Yeah. I’m so tired of him being a dick all the time.

Guy comes back with a lemon ice.

–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: Batwon

Girl #1: That’s why I love the beach, there’s always someone in a bathing suit who looks worse than you!
Random beach dude: Sorry hun, today that’s just not the case.
Girl #2: Oh my god.

–Lake Ontario, New York