Son (looking at man in Speedo): Mom! Look at that man! He's wearing a bikini without a top!
–Long Island, New York
Son (looking at man in Speedo): Mom! Look at that man! He's wearing a bikini without a top!
–Long Island, New York
Mom: If you drown, I won’t save you. Don’t you dare get in that water!
Son runs into the ocean
Mom: Son of a bitch. He can’t swim, and my suit can’t get wet. Do I really have to choose, because this bikini was pretty damn expensive.
–Belle Harbor, Queens, New York
Tween in one-piece: Amber’s parents let her wear a bikini.
Dad: But her parents love her.
Teen brother: No, they don’t. She’s just a 10-year-old slut.
–Lake Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: Jenny
Girl: I would have stayed on longer, but my swimsuit was on one ankle!
–Madison Lake, Minnesota
Guy on crowded boardwalk: Hey, you! You, over there! Hey, you in the bathing suit, I’m talking to you!
–Orchard Beach, Maine
Young boy, to buxom woman: Are those balls in your bathing suit?
–Reservoir, Arlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TC Ledger
Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French!
–Ocean Beach, New Jersey
20-something girl: Guys, did you see the man in the woman's swimsuit over there?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, yeah, I saw him…
20-something girl: He has man legs…
Teen girl #1: But from a distance he could totally pass as a flat chick.
20-something girl: He can really pull it off, too. He has the hat and the glasses and everything.
Teen girl #2: Where's the tranny man? I want to see the tranny man!
–La Jolla, California
Overheard by: La Jollan
Little boy: Dad, why does that girl have her swim suit straps down like that?
Dad: So she doesn’t get tan lines on her shoulders. Yup, if your mom had those I never would’ve married her.
–Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Mindygotback
Blonde, very loudly: You know, if I was a guy, these bikini bottoms would really cut into my balls!
–Key West, Florida
Overheard by: Anne
