Bathing suits

Little boy: Dad, why does that girl have her swim suit straps down like that?
Dad: So she doesn’t get tan lines on her shoulders. Yup, if your mom had those I never would’ve married her.

–Maui, Hawaii

Overheard by: Mindygotback

Blonde, very loudly: You know, if I was a guy, these bikini bottoms would really cut into my balls!

–Key West, Florida

Overheard by: Anne

Anorexic JAP #1: You look really good in that new swimsuit.
Anorexic JAP #2: I wish I could say the same to you, but you look a little pugdy around the hips.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why don’t you just do what I did? Lie.

–Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: JAP

Girl #1: That’s why I love the beach, there’s always someone in a bathing suit who looks worse than you!
Random beach dude: Sorry hun, today that’s just not the case.
Girl #2: Oh my god.

–Lake Ontario, New York

20-ish guy: I looked over at Sharon and didn’t think she had any bottoms on. Then a wave lifted up her stomach, and I saw that she did.

–Old Lyme, Connecticut

Overheard by: Ann

College girl to guy: Are you gonna put that thing in your bathing suit, or carry it?

–Hawaiian Inn, Daytona Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Do I wanna know?

Girl to guy with oddly-shaped swimsuit: What kind of a tan line do you have?
Guy: Get the hell away from me! I don’t know you!

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Tourist wife: Look at their butts. These bikinis are too small…Honey? Did you hear me?
Tourist husband: Huh?
Tourist wife: My point exactly.

–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see-through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well…
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?

–Flagler Beach, Florida

Overheard by: the nearest sunbather

Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see-through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well…
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?

–Flagler Beach, Florida

Overheard by: the nearest sunbather