Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Mother, dressing son: Wow, your hair dried gorgeously! You’re such a Jew.
–Cape Henlopen, Delaware
Overheard by: KDP
Black chick walks by two white guys on the beach.
White guy #1: She is pretty hot. I’m gonna go talk to her.
White guy #2: Chicks like that always have some huge black dude waiting to beat your ass for looking at them.
White guy #1: I can tell she dates white men.
White guy #2: How?
White guy #1: Her tits are fake.
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: PS
Black thug: Look at the tits and ass on that one.
White girl to friend: I think he thinks ’cause he’s speaking gangsta I can’t hear him.
–Hamilton Beach, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Steph
Girlfriend: Some of my favorite times are lying on the beach with my head in your lap.
Boyfriend: Yeah, a lot of my favorite times involve your head in my crotch, too.
–The Point, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Greg P
Little girl to her mother: I spy something pretty!
Teenage girl, looking the mirror: It’s me.
–Public restroom, Atlantic Beach, North Carolina
20-something guy, screaming to total stranger: My dick is, like, totally swollen, bro!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Nic
Queer #1: Charles, look, there’s another one. He’s white, and the other looks Asian.
Holds up large signs that say “6” and “4,” respectively.
Queer #2: Definitely!
Queer #1: Oh, wow. Look at this one. Latino. Yummmm!
Holds up sign that says “9.”
Queer #2: Oh, yes. Totally!
Straight girl, walking by: What are you two doing? Comparing guys’ looks?
Queer #1: Uhh…
Queer #2: Breeder, please. The Asian guy is a 4, the white guy is a 6, and the Latino guy a 9. What do you think we’re trying to imagine?
–Sunset Beach, Florida
Overheard by: MangoJoe
Guy, reading back of girl’s shirt, which says “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere”: I love that t-shirt! 5 cocks!
–Cherry Grove, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Tom Johnson
Lady: You have an awfully long deck.
Homeowner: Thanks… Oh, you said ‘deck.’
–Topsail Island, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jim
