Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Teen boy: Fucking faggots!
Queer: How can he tell I’m gay?
Lesbo: How can he tell I’m a lesbian? What, do we exude a flamboyantly‐homosexual aura or something? Fuck, we’re cuddling with a member of the opposite gender, and people still know we’re gay! Damn, it’s like P.E. class all over again.
–Delta, British Columbia, Canadia
Drunk mother: So, do… When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk father: Well, the older one can stay up later tonight… What the fuck is that kid’s name…?
Drunk mother: Brianna?
Drunk father: Who the hell…? I mean, Sabrina.
Drunk mother: You’re holding Sabrina.
Drunk father: Cassie! Send the other two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up later. [Baby in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.
–Beach campground, Mindon, Ontario, Canadia
Guy #1: Hey, man! What’s up?
Guy #2: You don’t return my calls…
Guy #1: I don’t return your Facebook messages.
–Woodbine Beach, Toronto, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Kaley
Teen girl #1 is making a crease in her towel and filling it with sand.
Teen girl #2: What the fuck are you doing?
Teen girl #1: Look! It’s ‘de Nile’!
Teen girl #2: What? You mean the Nile River? How could that be the Nile River? There’s no water involved!
Teen girl #1, after long pause: Well… Has anyone ever told you that you look like Danny DeVito?
–Jericho Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: bondgirl
Bimbette: My nipples are hard.
–Wasaga Beach, Ontario, Canadia
Man #1, hanging up cell: By the volleyball net? You can’t find anyone at this beach by telling them “I’m by the volleyball net.” That’s like going downtown and telling someone “I’m by the pizza place.”
Man #2: Or, “I’m by the hobo.”
–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: Emimac
College girl: Stop hitting on the nine‐year‐old, and let’s leave!
–Grand Bend, Ontario, Canadia
Asian guy: We should get some fish and chips.
Asian girl: Ooh, I love tartar sauce. It’s my favorite continent.
Asian guy: What?
–Steveston Pier, Richmond, British Columbia
Old cougar: It was good ole fashioned hanky panky. Fun, but definitely not worth all the sand that got up there.
–Canadia
