Body parts

Loud high school girl: I was walking down the beach and I saw this girl with the fattest vagina! It was like balls!

–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts

Girl #1: But you were dancing with that guy…
Girl #2: Which guy?
Girl #1: The guy with the hard-on.
Girl #2: Which one?

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Ladle

Chick #1: Is it just me, or does that baby over there have really broad shoulders?
Chick #2: Maybe you should get his number.

–Oscoda, Michigan

Overheard by: Kate

Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.

–Fort Macon, North Carolina

Overheard by: El Gee

Little girl: Look! I can fit an entire Gatorade cap in my mouth! (demonstrates)
Teenage boy to teenage girl: That girl's going places.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Little girl to parents: That octopus has lots of testicles!

–Apollo Bay, Victoria, Australia

Girl, drinking spiked hot chocolate: Oh my god, it's like Jesus died in my mouth!

–Arcata, California

Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Danny

Chick #1: Why does that hurt your arms but nowhere else?
Chick #2: I dunno. It just does. I have weak arms.
Chick #1: I think you have leukemia…Don’t laugh! Leukemia is a horrible disease!

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Girl: They look so much bigger when you’re on your knees!… Um, I meant the waves.

–Loon Point, Summerland, California

Overheard by: likes big waves