Stoned surfer #1: Hey, remember that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was running around with it and wouldn’t let anyone have it? That was hilarious.
Stoned surfer #1: Totally.
–Bolinas, California
Overheard by: didn’t think it was hilarious then or now
Girl #1: So I remembered to raise my eyebrows in the picture… Hey, want to see? (pulls out driver’s license).
Girl #2: I just leave mine in the car.
Girl #1: Your eyebrows?
–Hartford, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Eating icecream at the time
Girl #1 (as girl #2 drops towel around her waist): Showin’ off the goods?
Girl #2: I don’t need your sass mouth.
–Manhattan Beach, California
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he would be cute if he had better teeth.
Teen girl #2: Or a smaller nose.
Teen girl #3: He’d be cute if he was completely different.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Male boater to girl that always gets yelled at by the boss: So, are you thinking of doing this job again next summer?
Girl: Not if it means working for Rich. He’s left a bad taste in my mouth.
–Lake George, New York
Girl under umbrella: She said her two life goals are to grow a third arm and trip a cripple.
Mom (to friend): She’s a theater kid.
Friend: But still, I don’t see any reason to hurt a disabled person.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mary
Woman: I really hate diets. I mean, I guess I could start smoking. But isn’t that bad for your lungs or something?
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: something like that
Teenage girl: I know, he has the most beautiful eyes and this insanely hot body and I’m sad because his girlfriend has this really big forehead!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: sara swank
Girl #1: You need to learn to give off a “piss off” vibe. Follow my lead.
Girl #2 (to drunk groping her): If you fucking touch me one more time I’ll cut off your balls!
Girl #1: Or just do that…
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him – his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn’t shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers.
–Lake Miramar, California
Overheard by: El Meech
