Geography

Meathead: Dude! Your trunks, they're too short.
Hot dude wearing 80s trunks: Dude! This is America, I can wear whatever I want.
Meathead: This is not America. This is New Jersey!

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Bikini #1: What ocean is this beach on? Is it sad that I don't even know?
Bikini #2: No, I dunno either. I'm bad at history.

–Palm Beach, Florida

Guy #1: So, I think I’m going to ask Catherine* to marry me next weekend.
Guy #2: Where you going to get married?
Guy #1: Does a man who’s about to jump off a building worry about where they’ll bury the body?

–Bobcaygeon, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Keith

Guy #1: Wow, I guess Michigan is the fattest state.
Guy #2: No way is it the fattest state. Think about Kentucky. An entire town full of fat, ugly chicks, and one Daisy Duke.
Guy #1: Who?
Guy #2: You need to learn more history.

–Lake Michigan

Latina #1: I wanna go to Italy.
Latina #2: Girl, you don't even know how to spell “Italy.”
Latina #1: Well…do you?

–Smiths Point, New York

Overheard by: suzz

Tanned girl: That’s not tanning lotion. That’s brown paint.
Pale girl: Well, it cost me $80 so it better get me your color. Besides, it says Tahitian women have been using it for years!
Tanned girl: Yeah, and Tahitian women have been having syphilis for years, too.

–Sporting Beach Club, Beirut, Lebanon

Overheard by: Nicolien

Guy: What's the capital of… Iraq?
Girl: Baghdad.
Guy: Lebanon?
Girl: Beirut.
Bimbo: Oh my god, how do you know all this? Have you been to these countries?
Girl #1: Yeah, because they're all such fun places to go visit…
Bimbo: I don't know any capitals except like Australia.
Guy: I'm sure you do, what about New Zealand?
Bimbo: That's a country?!

–Melbourne, Australia

Guy on cell: When the freeway ends, turn left…Yes, the freeway ends….Because the continent ends, dipshit.

–Hermosa Beach, California

Awesome mom #1: Yeah, so they were going to adopt this baby from China, but when they saw her she was ugly and they decided not to get her.
Awesome mom #2: Oh, really? That’s too bad.

–Ferry Beach, Maine

Overheard by: shawshank

Girl #1: There are so many pale, fat guys here in Speedos.
Girl #2: It’s like they don’t care.
Girl #1: I know.
Girl #2: It’s so not like this in America.

–Waikiki, Hawaii