Gangsta teen wannabe: Damn, son, check that ho!
Little brother: Which one?
Gangsta teen wannabe: The one with the splat-tat and the muffin top.
Little brother: Daaamn!
Gangsta teen wannabe: Maybe she’ll bend over and show some slut crack.
Mom, studying tourist info: What?

–Cannery Row, Monterey, California

Overheard by: gt6driver

Girl #1: Yeah, my mom wants me to go to this party, but I don’t wanna go alone. Wanna come?
Girl #2: Is it Tina’s party?
Girl #1: … Did you just ask me if it was a penis party?

–Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: Hana

Preppy 30-something guy: I mean, all the clubs in Europe are naked clubs now. (pause) Seriously, like, everybody’s naked!

–Indian Wells Beach, New York

Mechanic, returning car: I got a wireless cable.

–Wildwood Crest, New Jersey

Bimbette #1: I can’t believe you’re trying to learn Spanish just so you can hook up with that waiter.
Bimbette #2: [Mutters in Spanish.]Bimbette #1: What are you trying to say?
Bimbette #2: My eyes are brown.
Bimbette #1: You just said my eyes are a Muslim religion!

–Rocky Point, Mexico

Overheard by: oh my

Teen girl: Of course she will get naked, she is slutty… I will get naked too, next time, but you guys respect me, right? Oh look, there’s a nude dude… [Points at stranger.] Want to see if I can get him hard?

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Drunk college boy: Come get drunnnk!
Sober college girl: Nah I have a massive exam tomorrow, I gotta study.
Drunk college boy: Study… Like a fish.

–Gold Coast, Australia

Tourist: What do they do with the beach in the winter?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Travis

Housemate: So, last night I was so high on acid that I thought the whole beach was made of cocaine, and now I can’t breathe.

–Brazil

Overheard by: living with morons

Girl running along shore: Smoke weed every day!
Black lady on beach blanket: Hallelujah! Come here, baby!

Girl runs to black lady, who stands and hugs her and kisses her.

Black lady: Smoke weed, God bless you!

–Seaside Heights, New Jersey

Overheard by: t-money