Questions

Girl #1: Yeah, my mom wants me to go to this party, but I don’t wanna go alone. Wanna come?
Girl #2: Is it Tina’s party?
Girl #1: … Did you just ask me if it was a penis party?

–Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: Hana

Tourist: What do they do with the beach in the winter?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Travis

Surfer: It’s questions like these that you have to look to the Bible for answers. Like, what would Jesus do in a line-up like this? He’d fuck people up, that’s what He’d do!

–Shell Beach, California

Overheard by: One of the masses in the line up

Mom to 13-year-old son: What the hell is wrong with you? Were you born this stupid?

–Seaside Heights, New Jersey

Overheard by: bonzo

Fisherman #1, watching freshly caught ray: What is that?!
Fisherman #2: It's some kind of mutant fish!

–Tip of Steeplechase Pier, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Liam

Woman #1: You really should have seen this guy's boobs, they were huge.
Woman #2: So he needed a bra?
Man #1: A bro.
Man #2 (with hands on hips, triumphantly): A manzier!
Woman #1: What he needed was some testosterone!

–Hawaii

Overheard by: Festivus for the Rest of Us

Guy #1: Wait… When are you getting circumcised, bro?
Guy #2: Tomorrow.

–Robert Moses Beach, New York

Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Chad

Old guy on oxygen: So, how many more beers can I have??

–Sandbridge, Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Mike

Hot dad: No, it's because I prefer other foods.
Small boy clinging to his back: Like people poopy?

–Vancouver Sea Walk, Canada

Overheard by: Rosie