No Thanks, Bobby

Three-year-old playing kitchen, to adults: Does anyone want a taste of my spicy vagina?

–Lake George, New York

Posted on April 2, 2024
Glad the condom broke, New York, Vagina

Never Met a Simile Yet I Couldn't Swallow

Stoned nerd (talking about his sub order): I've got six inches!
Stoned girl: Lucky. I got the lesbian choice, a fuckin' sandwich. Cuz the sandwich is like a vagina and the sub is like a dick, ya know?
Stoned nerd: No, I totally understand. And I'm okay with that.

–Wawa, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Posted on January 22, 2024
Compare and contrast, Delaware, Food, Girls, Homosexuality, Nerds and geeks, Penis, Size, Stoners, Vagina

He's Kinda Gone Off Me Since He Broke My Seal

Guy #1: What I can’t understand is, $5,000 an hour for a hooker? How good can pussy be?
Woman #1: And where did he get that kind of money on a public official’s salary?
Guy #2: He could have cruised tenth avenue and gotten the same poontang for twenty bucks.
Woman #2: I don’t have to worry about Frank going to hookers. He won’t even use a bottle of ketchup if it’s already been opened.

–Italian Restaurant, Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on September 15, 2023
Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Guys, Jobs & careers, Money, New York, Offers and requests, Politics, Sex, Vagina, Women

Or Whatever That Stuff in the Tortilla Is

Fiftyish guy to wife: Just for that, I’m not gonna eat your pussy tonight.

–El Cid, Cozumel, Mexico

Posted on July 26, 2023
Comebacks, Couples, Creepsters, Eating out, Guys, Mexico, Vagina

You Should Start a Support Group.

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!

–Naples, Florida