Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I’d totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don’t
Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I’d totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don’t
Girl: Oh my god, the water is so cold! I think my vagina is numb.
Guy: I hate when that happens.
–Grand Haven, Michigan
Overheard by: Lisa
White girl: So, what are you doing in Miami?
Black guy: We’re here for the pussy.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Girl to boyfriend: All I have to do is finish this project, and I got my degree!
Boyfriend: You know what’s a degree? Your vagina!
–Gulf Coast University, Florida
Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah‐jay‐jay than the Saharia desert!
–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Erin
Guy: It smells like pussy out here!
Girl: It smells like you’re gonna have to find someone else to give your ass a ride home.
–Bixby Knolls, Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Armando
Dumb blonde: It’s not “labia Menorah”?
Friend: No, that’s the Jewish thing.
Dumb blonde: So what is it then?
–Siesta Key, Florida
Friend: Mmm! Sharice, that smells good! What’d you spray?
Sharice: Girl, it ain’t no spray.
Friend: What is it?
Sharice (very loudly): Mah pussayyy, bitch!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Suzanne
Dude #1: I bet I can make Jill* show us her cooter right here on the beach.
Dude #2: No way.
Dude #1: Twenty bucks says I can.
Dude #2: You’re on.
Dude #1: Hey, Jill, I hear you have a tattoo above your vagina that says ‘Come on in.‘
Jill: What?! What kind of skank do you think I am?
Dude #1: Well, I don’t. That’s what I heard.
Jill: Okay, I’ll show you when we get back to the room.
Dude #1: You’ll forget. Do it now. No one’s watching. [Jill lowers her bikini bottom.] I’m going to tell that person to stop telling lies about you.
–Destin, Florida
Girl: I’m so tired.
Boy: Well that’s because you were up all night having sex, and whose fault is that?
Girl: My vagina’s. I can’t control her.
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: yellow mushroom
