Loud high school girl: I was walking down the beach and I saw this girl with the fattest vagina! It was like balls!
–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts
Loud high school girl: I was walking down the beach and I saw this girl with the fattest vagina! It was like balls!
–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts
Three-year-old playing kitchen, to adults: Does anyone want a taste of my spicy vagina?
–Lake George, New York
Stoned nerd (talking about his sub order): I've got six inches!
Stoned girl: Lucky. I got the lesbian choice, a fuckin' sandwich. Cuz the sandwich is like a vagina and the sub is like a dick, ya know?
Stoned nerd: No, I totally understand. And I'm okay with that.
–Wawa, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Guy #1: What I can’t understand is, $5,000 an hour for a hooker? How good can pussy be?
Woman #1: And where did he get that kind of money on a public official’s salary?
Guy #2: He could have cruised tenth avenue and gotten the same poontang for twenty bucks.
Woman #2: I don’t have to worry about Frank going to hookers. He won’t even use a bottle of ketchup if it’s already been opened.
–Italian Restaurant, Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Fiftyish guy to wife: Just for that, I’m not gonna eat your pussy tonight.
–El Cid, Cozumel, Mexico
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!
–Naples, Florida
Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I'd totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don't
Girl: Oh my god, the water is so cold! I think my vagina is numb.
Guy: I hate when that happens.
–Grand Haven, Michigan
Overheard by: Lisa
White girl: So, what are you doing in Miami?
Black guy: We’re here for the pussy.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
