Sex

Dramatic guy to woman at seaside restaurant: DC? Washington, DC, did you ask? DC is a fuckfest!

–Provincetown
Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!

Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.

Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??

–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair

Frat guy #1: So he was dating her for a whole month before he realized she was a tranny. Even had sex with her twice, no clue.
Frat guy #2: There's no way he didn't know!
Frat guy #1: Well, he was drunk. And you went out with her before he did, so who are you to talk?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: The WC

Girl #1: Did you hear we’re getting the lockers on the bottom row at school next year?
Girl #2: Oh, really? I hope I get someone hot on top of me.
Mother, just tuning in to conversation: What?!

–Williamstown Beach, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal

Ugly girl to hot friends: No, I want to have sex… I’m just not liking my odds right now.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: K

Guy: My dick has no boundaries.

–Miami, Florida

Guy: My dick has no boundaries.

–Miami, Florida

Dude in hot tub: Wait, we didn’t do it? So we aren’t in trouble?!

–Carnival Ecstasy cruise

Drunk guy to girl: Hey, heeeeey. Sometimes I think about dolphins.
Girl (annoyed): Okay…
Drunk guy: Yes! See, they have sex for pleasure, like humans.
(girl giggles and walks away with friends)

–Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia

30 something guy standing at bar: So she asked me if I had ever slept with a stripper.
Friend: What did you say?
30 something guy: I told her the truth… I said “yeah, I slept with a stripper, of course.”

–Austin, Texas