Teen girl #1: Remember when Paul and Diane had sex at the beach last year?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, that shit’s so gross. Have you seen this water?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, there’s so much nasty shit in here.
Teen girl #2: That’s why I’ll only have sex at Jones — it’s much cleaner.
Teen girl #1: Def.
–Rockaway, New York
Overheard by: A. D.
White girl: So, what are you doing in Miami?
Black guy: We’re here for the pussy.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Walking vendor: Oh, I know you! I fucked your sister on your front lawn! Your parents have a really bad grub problem. They should take care of that.
–Charlestown, Rhode Island
Drunk guy #1: You keep condoms and stamps in your wallet?
Drunk guy #2: Yeah.
Drunk guy #1: So what are you gonna do, bang her and send her a thank you note?
–Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Well, it WOULD be a nice gesture…
Woman #1: I haven’t had sex in three years.
Woman #2: But what about your friend?
Woman #1: He doesn’t count, because I don’t enjoy it.
–Brittany Beach, France
Little girl, pointing at a couple making out: Hey! Look, daddy! We have to stop and stare now.
Dad: Shh! No, sweetie. What they are doing is rude, but staring is rude too.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Attractive female on cell: No, that’s sexual harassment.
–Lorne, Australia
Teenage girl #1: Wait, if there’s a Mrs. Claus and Santa, then how come he doesn’t have any kids?
Teenage girl #2: Well, all the children in the world are his kids.
Teenage girl #1: Santa’s kind of a pedophile if you think about it. Like, I’ll sneak into your house and give you presents if you love me.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, ew.
–Misquamicit Beach, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Amanda
Guy: It smells like pussy out here!
Girl: It smells like you’re gonna have to find someone else to give your ass a ride home.
–Bixby Knolls, Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Armando
