Health & Hygiene

Swedish guy: … So she had to shave her pussy and use a used razor she found in the trash.

–Barcelona, Spain

Overheard by: boxface

Tanned girl: That’s not tanning lotion. That’s brown paint.
Pale girl: Well, it cost me $80 so it better get me your color. Besides, it says Tahitian women have been using it for years!
Tanned girl: Yeah, and Tahitian women have been having syphilis for years, too.

–Sporting Beach Club, Beirut, Lebanon

Overheard by: Nicolien

Bitchy friend: … So then we took a vote, and you’re the biggest slut out of all of us.
Girl: But I’m the only virgin.
Bitchy friend: We know.

–Kingston Beach, Washington

White trash girl to friend: Whatever, I'm on my period, so I'm not even worried about it.
Gay male friend: You can still get pregnant on your period, I think.
(awkward silence)
White trash girl, laughing: You are such a fucking retard.

–Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Ryan L

Mother to toddler: Baby, don’t cough like that. People are going to think you have TB, and then no one will want to be your friend! [To friend] I probably shouldn’t tell her that, should I?
Friend: Probably not. You’re going to give her a complex.
Mother: Shit.

–Panama Beach, Florida

Woman: I am talking, and you are farting. That’s nice!

–Balmy Beach, Toronto, Ontario

Overheard by: nfh

Young woman on cell: Okay, well, I’m leaving before he sees the blood.

–Minnetonka Beach, Minnesota

Overheard by: buddy

Older lady #1: You know they have a hot stone massage?
Older lady #2: Really?
Older lady #1: Yeah! It sounds really nice.
Older lady #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say “I got stoned in Miami”
Older lady #1, laughing: We could.
Older lady #2: No, but I actually want to get them and wear that shirt.

–Elemis Spa, Miami Beach, Florida

Man #1: Hey, man, what you doing?
Man #2: Oh, nothing. Just watching this whore getting a customer across the street.
Man #1: Huh? How do you know she’s a whore?
Man #2: ‘Cause we’ve been standing here for about an hour and she’s been leaning against different cars talking, getting in, leaving, and coming back. Besides, she’s dressed like a whore.
Man #3: So are half the people here.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Les

Guy: Yo, where's that sunscreen at?
Girl: You don't need any sunscreen, we're black, we have a natural SPF factor of 8.

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: KL