Teen #1 looking down at bikini top: [Sighs] I wish my boobs were bigger. I can’t wait until one day when I’m pregnant — then they’ll grow.
Teen #2: Why don’t you go on birth control? That made Jen’s* and Michelle’s* get a whole cup bigger.
Teen #3: Yeah, Kelly’s*, too.
Teen #1: Really?! Oh, man! I’m gonna go on birth control and get knocked up. Then they’d be huge!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: CAT
Old lady looking at 30-something lady with a pot belly: Oh, how nice! How far along are you?
30-something lady: I beg ya pardon?
Old lady, smiling: Well, when are you due honey? The baby!
30-something lady: I'm not pregnant! This is how I look!
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Girl #1: Oh my gawd, I love your new lips!
Girl #2: I was wondering when you’d notice! I like your flip flops.
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Mana
Preppy girl: So about this swine flu thing… like, who would want to have sex with a pig?
–Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: Kermit
Guy: And the guy is complaining about the price of birth control! “Forty dollars?” he's saying… “For that price, I'd rather have a baby!”
–Long Beach, Long Island
Overheard by: Colleen
Girl: I'm really allergic to bugs, so that's why I'm scared of jellyfish.
–Destin, Florida
Overheard by: right, because jellyfish are just really big bugs
Little girl: If a pig spits in your eye, you'll get the flu.
–Takapuna Beach, Auckland, New Zealand
Black guy to puking white guy: Yup, I know what that's like. I do that every morning, brother!
–Long Beach, Long Island, New York
70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick 'em, but I can't dick 'em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You're very well-built for your age. (stares at girl's breasts) You wanna play pool with me?
–Palm Coast, Florida
Girlfriend: Hey, do you know I heard down in Brazil they, like, mix sand in with their suntan lotion so that it exfoliates their skin?
Boyfriend: That’s fucking stupid.
Girlfriend: Tell me about it! I tried it last year and got a nasty rash. So this year I’m using sand and baby oil.
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
Overheard by: Neeri
