50-something woman: My pee was sort of yellowish today!
Younger friend: (nods earnestly)
–Mission Valley, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Thank Goodness!
50-something woman: My pee was sort of yellowish today!
Younger friend: (nods earnestly)
–Mission Valley, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Thank Goodness!
Guy: I just gave birth to a beach ball, and my wrist is sore.
Girl: It must work differently for guys.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Frenchie
White girl, reviewing nude pictures of Hispanic girl: That's why I would hate to be darker. Her vagina looks dirty.
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Jock: Don’t diabetics have to check their pH level?
–Long Beach, New York
Mom (exasperatedly): Come on children, you guys going to give me heart failure!
Six-year-old: You going to give yourself heart failure, cause you wouldn't leave us alone.
–Bridgetown, Barbados
Girl #1: Dude, my retainer smells nasty!
Girl #2: Just put a little bleach on it.
Girl #1: Wouldn't that kill me?
Girl #2: Yeah, but it will make your teeth whiter.
–Tampa, Florida
Dude #1: So, apparently he died from consumption.
Dude #2: Oh, man, I would hate to die from constipation… I think I almost did, once.
Dude #3: Is that what happens when you get tuberculosis?
–Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Juan Dude
Chick: Fuck, I stepped on a piece of glass!
Dude: Was it beach glass?
Chick: I don’t know… We’re at the beach… Probably.
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: monkey
Guy: Two for Wanted.
Pregnant girl: You don't need to buy my ticket. I brought money.
Guy: It's the least I could do, after knocking you up.
Pregnant girl: Good point.
–Cape May, New Jersey
Tourist mom on cell: He’s not gonna be brain damaged! It wasn’t my fault — it was only two hours!
–Point Pleasant Boardwalk, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
