Teenage girl: I know, he has the most beautiful eyes and this insanely hot body and I’m sad because his girlfriend has this really big forehead!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: sara swank
Teenage girl: I know, he has the most beautiful eyes and this insanely hot body and I’m sad because his girlfriend has this really big forehead!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: sara swank
Mom, pushing crying three‐year‐old: You cannot cry here! Wait till we get back to New York, where it s snowing, to cry!
–Isla Verde, San Juan, Puerto Rico
Overheard by: i wanna cry too!
Nagging mother to adult daughter, after sniping at her all afternoon: Your best attribute used to be your personality. But with the life you lead, now it’s dead.
Adult daughter’s husband, without looking up from newspaper: It’s not dead, it’s just asleep.
–Maguire’s Landing, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: oysterwoman
Guy #1: The only problem I have with [my Blackberry] is when I have to type in French.
Guy #2: Oh. My problem with typing in French is that I hate everyone that I’m addressing.
–Jones Beach, New York
White college girl: Every time I see them, I’m like, “Asians!” and they’re like, “whitey!”
–Long Beach, California
White college girl: Every time I see them, I’m like, “Asians!” and they’re like, “whitey!”
–Long Beach, California
Atheist: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear … ” (pause) Wow! I have no idea where that came from.
Bible‐lover: Actually it’s from the Bible: John, chapter 4, verse 18.
Atheist: Oh, fuck! Man…
–Hanover Beach, Indiana
Overheard by: triz3en
Little boy pointing to portabella mushroom: Mommy, what’s that?
Tired mother: It’s a mushroom. Someday I’m going to make you a hamburger for dinner, but instead of meat, it’s going to have one of those mushrooms in it.
Little boy looking back at mushroom, terrified: Why would you do that?!
–Beachside Produce Plus, Melbourne Beach, Florida
Guy standing at window: I love tit‐ass!
Guy on boardwalk: Fuck yeah!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Roomate
