Girl, carrying piece of kelp to dad: This can be my pet until we get a doggie!
–Hermosa Beach, California
Girl, carrying piece of kelp to dad: This can be my pet until we get a doggie!
–Hermosa Beach, California
Girl #1: So, I want to move somewhere cool and foreign.
Girl #2: Yeah, that would be great. Where?
Girl #1: I dunno, somewhere like San Francisco or Australia.
Girl #2: That would be so cool.
–Mission Bay, San Diego, California
Dad to misbehaving child: Do you want chocolate or a slap?
–Nantasket Beach, Massachusetts
Stoner #1: Do you want a Bud or…?
Stoner #2: Bud.
Stoner #1: I also have Sam Adams Summers Ale.
Stoner #2: Bud.
Stoner #1: And Bass Ale.
Stoner #2: No ales!
–Bonnet Shores, Rhode Island
Overheard by: I like Ales
Golden girl: Excuse me, bartender!
(harried bartender grunts at her)
Golden girl: Bartender, can I just have an ice cube please?
(harried bartender fills a cup with ice cubes and slams it down in front of her)
Golder girl: What am I supposed to do with all of these? I just wanted one to put in my bra!
–Colony Hotel, Delray Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Chick #1: Do you want your sandwich?
Chick #2: Nah, it hasn’t been refrigerated.
Chick #1: Well, it’s just lunch meat, it’s not real meat anyways.
Chick #2: Yea…
–Lake Tahoe, California
Guy trying to park his car: Honey, am I straight? Am I straight?
Wife: I damned well hope so.
–Grand Beach, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: Shalamar
Surfer dude to flabby, uninterested friend: Are you seeing this? That seagull is frickin' staring me down. Look at him. Are you looking at him? He's giving me the eye. That motherfucker is going to shit on me at some point today, and he wants me to know it.
–Ocean Beach, California
Teenage girl: I can't wait to get a tattoo on my lower back.
Tween boy #1: Why would you want a tattoo there? How are you going to be able to see it?
Tween boy #2: It's not for her, stupid, it's for the dudes she lets do her in the butt doggy-style.
–St. Simon's Island, Georgia
Overheard by: John
