Wishes

Loud, drunk sorostitute leaving bar to drunk frat boy: When we get back, I'm gonna piss all over your pussy.

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.

–Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: SB

Latina #1: I wanna go to Italy.
Latina #2: Girl, you don't even know how to spell “Italy.”
Latina #1: Well…do you?

–Smiths Point, New York

Overheard by: suzz

Thin girl ordering funnel cake: I want so much powdered sugar on it that I don't want to be able to see the dough!

–Ocean City, Maryland

Eight-year-old boy to random adult: I want to be a terrorist just like my grandpa!
Shocked random adult: Wouldn't you rather be a police officer or a Texas Ranger or something?
Eight-year-old boy: No. They don't get paaaaaid!

–New Smyrna Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Rachel Marie

Guy: Hey, do you have any gum?
Annoying girl: Yeah, I do… You can't have this one, but you can have this kind. (pulls gum out of bra)
Guy: Ew! I don't want that! It's titty gum.
Annoying girl: It's not titty gum.
Brunette girl: You can have some of my gum.
Guy: Is it in your titties?
Brunette girl, looking down shirt. Nope.
Guy: Okay!

–Canadia

Elderly husband to leather-tanned wife taking top off on the beach: Jesus Christ, Mary! Put those things away,will you? Nobody wants to see that.

–Playa Del Carmen, Mexico

Man with small child on his shoulders, rubbing his bald head: Rub harder! Make a wish!

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Arlene M Franks

Blonde girl on cell: That's not fair! Just because I want to actively pursue a sexual relationship with my thesis advisor does not mean you can call me a whore! (long pause) My boyfriend says he doesn't care.

–Los Angeles, California

Girl: I hope nobody stole our towels while we were stealing ice cream.

–Melbourne Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ali and Livi