Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I’d totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don’t
Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I’d totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don’t
Petite and topless blonde: When I get my boobs done, I’m gonna like… Walk around school with my tits out all the time.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Overheard by: mar
Dumb meatheads to dumb girls: So we’ve got triscuits and flavor‐blasted goldfish back at our condo if you want to come with us.
–Siesta Beach, Florida
Girl under umbrella: She said her two life goals are to grow a third arm and trip a cripple.
Mom (to friend): She’s a theater kid.
Friend: But still, I don’t see any reason to hurt a disabled person.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mary
Girl: I really wish I was a vampire, then I could suck people’s blood.
Friend: (completely silent)
Girl: That was kinda creepy sounding, wasn’t it?
Friend: Well, I mean, it’s not a bad thing to like biting people, but it is kinda frowned on to mention it…
–Hawaii
Big Brooklyn dude #1: I really wanna see The Devil Wears Prada. I heard it’s the funniest movie ever.
Big Brooklyn dude #2: Yeah, man, but I really wanna read the book first.
Big Brooklyn dude #1: Yeah, yeah! It’s not just for chicks, man!
Big Brooklyn dude #2: It’s not just for chicks.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Drunk college student, spilling wine on herself: Oh great. Now I’m wet all over!
Drunk college boy nearby: What! Who said that!?
–Gold Coast, Australia
Man, to himself: I wish we were back at the condo so I could watch tv. I can only sit here and watch nothing for so long.
–Fripp Island, South Carolina
Guy #1: Let’s go local hunting.
Hot girl: I don’t want to go fucking local hunting.
Guy #2: You should, it’s mad fun. We went to this local party once and got kicked out.
Guy #1: Yeah, but we got the number of this kid who lives here.
Ugly girl: Wait. People live here?
–Westhampton Beach, New York
Overheard by: Doesn’t live there
50‐something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50‐something woman: Well, I don’t want the key lime pie, that’s fifth on a list of five options.
20‐something woman #1: Well, why don’t we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50‐something woman: I want everyone to eat what I’m eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20‐something woman #2: Oh my god. I’m leaving.
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Audrey
