New Jersey

Girl #1 in stall: I think I’m bleeding.
Girl #2 in next stall: Do you have your period?
Girl #1: I dunno. Here, look.
Girl #2: I don’t want to look!
Girl #1: At my foot, dumbass.

–Wawa, Chadwick Beach, New Jersey

Jersey girl: Why do we have to be all ghetto and start stealing stuff when we have money?

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: alison

Mother: Will you please stop whining?
Small boy: Shut up, Mommy.

–Martell’s Tiki Bar, Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Trystan

Frantic Italian woman to toddler walking along shore: Stay away from the waves! Stay away from the waves!

–Seawatch Beach, Manasquan, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mimi

Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French!

–Ocean Beach, New Jersey

Teen girl: It’s so freakin’ hot out! What are we gonna do?
Teen guy: We could go on the ferris wheel.
Teen girl: Are you kidding? For all five of us it would cost, like, a hundred dollars!

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Rafaela

Drunk dude: My girlfriend said I could have butt sex with a hooker at the bachelor party if I promised never to bring up butt sex again when I get home.

–Brigantine Beach, New Jersey

Jock #1: So I heard about this champion high school wrestler on Real Sports who has no legs.
Jock #2: That’s awesome. Good for him. I never won a championship in high school.
Punk, walking by: You know what’s better then being a state championship wrestler with no legs?
Both jocks: What?
Punk: Having legs!

–Pearl Street, Beach Haven, New Jersey

Overheard by: andrew dean

Grandmother: So you’re not in a fight anymore?
Little boy, hugging little girl: We’re gettting married!
Grandmother: But you’re cousins.
Little boy: No, I mean when we’re older.
Grandmother: But you’ll still be…Never mind.

–Ortley Beach, New Jersey

Biker's lady to biker: He had this plastic bag of poison ivy and was rubbing it on his face…

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey