New Jersey

Meathead: Dude! Your trunks, they're too short.
Hot dude wearing 80s trunks: Dude! This is America, I can wear whatever I want.
Meathead: This is not America. This is New Jersey!

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Girl on cell: Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm in the library. (pause) Yes. (pause) No, I can't talk, I'm studying.

–Blemar Beach, New Jersey

Little boy: Why do you live in New York now?
Uncle: Well, the family don't love me anymore.
Little boy: Huh? But…?
Uncle: Yeah, but you're lucky, they still love you. If they didn't, you'd have to live in New York with me.

–Seaside Heights, New Jersey

Overheard by: Kate-in-Oz

Girl to boyfriend: My vagina is all wet, and not in the good way.

–Seaside Heights, New Jersey

Overheard by: Thommy

Teen #1: Is he white?
Teen #2: Yes.
Teen #1: …Wait, does that count Michael Jackson?

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Muscle guy: Damn, that Lexus just hit that kid on a bike in front of Circle Pizza!
Blonde woman: Wait what? Was it one of mine?
Muscle guy: No, yours are jumping off the bridge.
Blonde woman: Oh, thank god.

–St Avalon, New Jersey

Overheard by: Himbo

White trash girl to friend: Whatever, I'm on my period, so I'm not even worried about it.
Gay male friend: You can still get pregnant on your period, I think.
(awkward silence)
White trash girl, laughing: You are such a fucking retard.

–Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Ryan L

Girl #1 in stall: I think I’m bleeding.
Girl #2 in next stall: Do you have your period?
Girl #1: I dunno. Here, look.
Girl #2: I don’t want to look!
Girl #1: At my foot, dumbass.

–Wawa, Chadwick Beach, New Jersey

Jersey girl: Why do we have to be all ghetto and start stealing stuff when we have money?

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: alison

Mother: Will you please stop whining?
Small boy: Shut up, Mommy.

–Martell’s Tiki Bar, Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Trystan