Obnoxious blonde instructor to riding student: That was beautiful! It looked like water ballet!
–Horse Show, West Palm Beach, Florida
Obnoxious blonde instructor to riding student: That was beautiful! It looked like water ballet!
–Horse Show, West Palm Beach, Florida
Preteen boy #1, whispering to pal: Dude! Look at that girl lying over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Preteen boy #2, whispering back: Quiet… Damn!
Preteen boy #1: What’s that sticking out?
Preteen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Preteen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time.
–Padre Island, Texas
Bikini babe: She’s had sex before… but… like… only strap-on sex. So she’s totally a fake lesbian ’cause she still likes dick!
–Anna Bananas, Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: just getting some beers
Poli-sci professor, on international military education and training: It's like going to Harvard… (class is silent) …Harvard grad school. It's really prestigious.
–UC Santa Cruz
California
Loud high school girl: I was walking down the beach and I saw this girl with the fattest vagina! It was like balls!
–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts
Teen girl: Of course she will get naked, she is slutty… I will get naked too, next time, but you guys respect me, right? Oh look, there’s a nude dude… [Points at stranger.] Want to see if I can get him hard?
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Drunk college boy: Come get drunnnk!
Sober college girl: Nah I have a massive exam tomorrow, I gotta study.
Drunk college boy: Study… Like a fish.
–Gold Coast, Australia
Surfer: It’s questions like these that you have to look to the Bible for answers. Like, what would Jesus do in a line-up like this? He’d fuck people up, that’s what He’d do!
–Shell Beach, California
Overheard by: One of the masses in the line up
Stoned nerd (talking about his sub order): I've got six inches!
Stoned girl: Lucky. I got the lesbian choice, a fuckin' sandwich. Cuz the sandwich is like a vagina and the sub is like a dick, ya know?
Stoned nerd: No, I totally understand. And I'm okay with that.
–Wawa, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
40-something woman: Yeah, I cook a lot of chicken. I like it baked or fried, but my husband likes when I jerk it.
–Pompano Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nastyasha
