Friends

Beach guy #1: Hurry up!
Beach guy #2: Fellas, what’s the rush? The beach only starts at two!

–Cape Town, South Africa

Redhead: Holy shit! A penis!
Blonde: What?

–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Boots

20‐year‐old speaking to friends: Why didn’t you guys take me to hospital?

–Dee Why Beach, Sydney, Australia

Beefy guy to group of beefy friends: Pomegranate and Red Bull? That’s heaven in a cup!

–South Beach, Miami

Girl under umbrella: She said her two life goals are to grow a third arm and trip a cripple.
Mom (to friend): She’s a theater kid.
Friend: But still, I don’t see any reason to hurt a disabled person.

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mary

20‐something girl, floating on waves: It’s like riding a cowboy… I mean, a bucking bronco.
20‐something friend: Or is it like riding a cowboy who’s riding a bucking bronco?

–WindMark Beach, Florida

Girl: I really wish I was a vampire, then I could suck people’s blood.
Friend: (completely silent)
Girl: That was kinda creepy sounding, wasn’t it?
Friend: Well, I mean, it’s not a bad thing to like biting people, but it is kinda frowned on to mention it…

–Hawaii

Woman #1: I haven’t had sex in three years.
Woman #2: But what about your friend?
Woman #1: He doesn’t count, because I don’t enjoy it.

–Brittany Beach, France

Guy #1: Hey, man! What’s up?
Guy #2: You don’t return my calls…
Guy #1: I don’t return your Facebook messages.

–Woodbine Beach, Toronto, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Kaley

Hippie girl: Hey, how’s Stone?
Hippie guy: You know — he’s Stone… Oh, wait! He started wearing shoes!
Hippie girl: Well, that is a change!

–Maui, Hawaii