Friends

Girl to friend: You just took four Clonazepam. How are you not having a good time?

–Luna Park, Coney Island

Meth-adict-looking girl: I was born by a massive gay orgy.
Friend: I wish I was born by something…

–Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Zach

Woman #1: He’s gay, do you really think he has a chance with a straight guy?
Woman #2: Look, we have more of a chance than he does and we have no chance.

–Boca Raton, Florida

Overheard by: Dawne

[Three ten-year-old boys cycling past the beach.]Boy #1: Why you going so fast?!
Boy #2: [Missing front teeth, which makes him lisp.] Becauth he wath fucking her latht night!
Boy #3: What?!!!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: They grow up quickly these days!

Macho 20-something guy to macho friends: Hmm, I don't know. I'm just feeling a little bi-curious today.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: roxana

Southern belle: If I had gotten on that boat, I would have met the man of my dreams. We would have had an amazing time and I would have fallen madly in love. Then I'd go back to Arkansas and he'd forget about me, just like all the rest of them.
Friend: Yeah… Need a smoke?
Southern belle: Yes! Do you have menthol? I love menthol.

–Fort Myers Beach, Florida

Girl #1: Do you think a guy would tell you if he had a girlfriend?
Girl #2: Yes, of course he would!

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: kate

Guy #1: What I can’t understand is, $5,000 an hour for a hooker? How good can pussy be?
Woman #1: And where did he get that kind of money on a public official’s salary?
Guy #2: He could have cruised tenth avenue and gotten the same poontang for twenty bucks.
Woman #2: I don’t have to worry about Frank going to hookers. He won’t even use a bottle of ketchup if it’s already been opened.

–Italian Restaurant, Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Surfer #1: I’m thinking about joining this race where you paddle out to Catalina.
Surfer #2: How do you get back?
Surfer #3: Might not come back.
Surfer #4: Heavy.

–Malibu, California

Overheard by: Brandon

White girl to black friend: Why do black people wear colored skinny jeans?
Black girl: So when it's dark you can see them.

–Tampa, Florida