Girls

College chick on cell: I’m like, ‘Why do I have to have dreams about us breaking up? Why can’t I have dreams like I used to… Like when I was fucking Bob Saget?’

–Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: Ava

Man with thick Russian accent to group of dancing girls: Shake it, shake it!
(seriously) But do not break it.

–Brighton Beach, New York

Adorable niece: I can see your wiener because I have X-ray vision!

–Corral Cabana Club, Tampa, Florida

Boy: So you go out a lot?
Girl: Yeah. My sister thinks I’m a druggy, but I’m like, “Sure I take drugs a lot, but that doesn’t make me a druggy.”

–Beach in Australia

Fat girl: What did you and Michelle talk about on the phone last night?
Skinny girl: She and Alex are fighting.
Fat girl: You're lying, they are not! What did she really tell you?
Skinny girl: Well, she thinks Victoria's replacing her.
Fat girl: Ugh, she could've just talked to me about it… Victoria did kinda replace her, though.

–Lavalette, New Jersey

Overheard by: Crab

20-something girl: I can't believe I let my career go. I could have been the new Paris Hilton, but like Spanish. Caliente!

–Lincoln Woods State Park, Rhode Island

American girl #1: Does your boyfriend shave his balls?
American girl #2: I didn’t know that men do that.
Nearby British man: Is this what young American girls talk about on their holiday?

–Cassis, France

Dude: That’s why they call me ‘the Titanic.’
Chick: They don’t call you ‘the Titanic.’

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Ana

Chick #1: I hope the water isn’t painfully cold.
Chick #2: Eh, even if it is, pain is weakness leaving the body!
Chick #1: It’s pretty cold.
Chick #2: Yeah…Cold is just heat leaving the body.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: wading nearby

Bikini girl to friend: Yeah, I'd suck a dick for an iPod touch.

–Cape Cod, Massachusetts