(guy #2 is wearing a jacket in 100-degree weather)
Guy #1: Why can’t you just wear shorts like a normal person?
Guy #2: Why can’t you drink milk with your eyes?
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: It’s science, bitch!
–Miami, Florida
(guy #2 is wearing a jacket in 100-degree weather)
Guy #1: Why can’t you just wear shorts like a normal person?
Guy #2: Why can’t you drink milk with your eyes?
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: It’s science, bitch!
–Miami, Florida
Guy #1: I can't believe he left us!
Guy #2: Yeah, me either. It really sucks being stuck on this fucking island with no hot chicks. I don't have a fucking shirt and I'm freezing my balls off!
Guy #1: Yeah, I know what you mean.
–St. Petersburg, Florida
Kid: If a tornado comes, will our beach be destroyed?
Mom: No. Tornadoes don’t come to the beach.
Kid: Why not? We’re better than Kansas, and that place got leveled!
–Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Little kid to mom, as storm is coming: If thunder claps while you're in the water, you're gonna die!
–Pawley's Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Running for Cover
Guy: See that dark area in the water slowly moving? It’s a school of fish
Girl: Wow, are you sure?
Guy: Yup — snapper.
Girl: Wow, that’s amazing. [Long pause] How come it’s now on the sand?
Guy: It could also be a cloud.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rob Kemper
Girl #1: So, I want to move somewhere cool and foreign.
Girl #2: Yeah, that would be great. Where?
Girl #1: I dunno, somewhere like San Francisco or Australia.
Girl #2: That would be so cool.
–Mission Bay, San Diego, California
Little girl: Mom, the water is cold.
Mom: Well, honey, it’s only August. When we come back in September, the water will be much much warmer.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Woman: I think I just heard thunder… do you think it’s gonna rain soon?
Lifeguard, looking into clear sky: Mmm… yeah. You might want to leave soon. It’s probably gonna rain any minute now.
Woman: Oh, OK. Hey, kids! Let’s go! It looks like it’s gonna rain!
–Caroga Lake, New York
Overheard by: Marc Wiley
Tattooed, bare-chested male #1: You could definitely walk a dog out here.
Tattooed, bare-chested male #2: You cannot! If you bring a dog onto a hot ass fuckin' boardwalk, the heat does not escape through his balls or his tongue.
–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York
Overheard by: SMS