Teen girl #1: Remember when Paul and Diane had sex at the beach last year?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, that shit’s so gross. Have you seen this water?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, there’s so much nasty shit in here.
Teen girl #2: That’s why I’ll only have sex at Jones — it’s much cleaner.
Teen girl #1: Def.
–Rockaway, New York
Overheard by: A. D.
Beach guy #1: Hurry up!
Beach guy #2: Fellas, what’s the rush? The beach only starts at two!
–Cape Town, South Africa
Lifeguard on megaphone: Attention, beach‐goers, due to the sunset, you must get out in 5 minutes or else we will turn the waves off.
Girl: Oh my God! Is he serious?!
–Huntington Beach, California
Woman #1: I haven’t had sex in three years.
Woman #2: But what about your friend?
Woman #1: He doesn’t count, because I don’t enjoy it.
–Brittany Beach, France
Kid: Mom, we get two months off for school this summer right?
Mom: No, you get like eight weeks.
Kid: Oh, okay.
–Ocean Beach, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
Woman on phone: It’s been so long since I have gone out on a date, I think I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be a woman.
4‑Year‐Old son, indignantly: You ain’t a woman! You’re my mother!
–Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Catherine
Girl: Well, you get like half his money when you divorce!…And he’s in med school now. Alls I’m sayin’ is you should wait a few years.
–Folly Beach, South Carolina
Flight attendant: Welcome to Acapulco, where the local time is party time.
–Plane Landing in Acapulco, Mexico
