Girls

Girl shouting to friends: Goldilocks! Stop sleeping in everyone's bed, you whore!

–Tampa, Florida

Girl #1: Does Lance have a big peepee?
Girl #2: Yes, all the girls in town know! Ask his ex Barb.

–Kirkland, Washington

Overheard by: mike hunt

Teen chick #1: I might want boobs like that.
Teen chick #2: Yeah, but then they’d get old and saggy.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: I.S.

Girl to boy: Look at the sea otters! So romantic! …touch my breasts.

–Tacoma, Washington

Girl #1: And that’s when I realized that bisexual and aphrodite are the same thing!
Girl #2: You mean hermaphrodite?
Girl #1: Yeah!
Girl #2: You’re an idiot.

–Long Beach, New York

20-something girl #1: So are you gonna go out with him again?
20-something girl #2: No. He's a vegetarian.
20-something girl #1: Well, you can change that.
20-something girl #2: No, he does it for like, moral reasons.
20-something girl #1: Oh. Ugh, no. Forget that, then.

–Long Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Tara

Girl: The sign for “Ped Xing” is way too vague. Lots of words begin with “ped-“. It could very well be a pedophile crossing.

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

Girl: Ah! Julian's so bad at paying attention to me when we aren't having sex! Wait, did I say that out loud?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: I prefer the toilet

Girl #1: Yeah, and then I threw a book and it hit her in the throat. I was like, “hi-ya!”
Girl #2: Oh, why didn't you text me afterwards?
Girl #1: I was busy because then I threw one at her stomach. “Hi-ya!” Times four!

–Cape Cod, Massachusetts