Florida

Driver, turning off radio and looking back: You know you live in a shitty neighborhood when you can't tell if the sirens are coming from outside or your gangster rap cd.

–Sulphur Springs, Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Killsborough

White girl, reviewing nude pictures of Hispanic girl: That's why I would hate to be darker. Her vagina looks dirty.

–Deerfield Beach, Florida

Hobo to group of girls holding a balloon: Hey! That balloon be blue. My name is blue. Gimme a dollar.

–Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Brittaney

Big-boobed lady to a man’s wife: Yes, they’re real. Would you like to feel for yourself? You’re staring at them more than your husband is.

–New Smyrna Beach, Florida

Overheard by: trying not to make like I was listening

20-ish girl to sister: I think a shark just brushed up against my foot! [Everyone nearby stares.] Oops. I think I said that a little loud. False alert, everyone — it was just some seaweed!

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Girl on cell: Don't be worried! Incest is totally in this season.

–Tampa, Florida

Guy driving by, yelling out the window: I like sex!!
Same guy driving by a minute later: I like sex!

–Panama City Beach, Florida

Girl #1: Dude, my retainer smells nasty!
Girl #2: Just put a little bleach on it.
Girl #1: Wouldn't that kill me?
Girl #2: Yeah, but it will make your teeth whiter.

–Tampa, Florida

Man on cell: We met at a bar and went on one date… You don’t even know me! You haven’t even seen my MySpace page!

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Greg

Man: Come back in the water with me.
Boy: No. You tried to drown me! You almost killed me!
Man: Well. You shouldn't have kicked me.
Boy: Kickin' someone in the ding-dong ain't gonna kill them.
Man: It might.

–Destin, Florida