Bikini #1: What ocean is this beach on? Is it sad that I don't even know?
Bikini #2: No, I dunno either. I'm bad at history.
–Palm Beach, Florida
Frat guy trying to get to house behind closed gate: Dude, what the hell?
Teen girl on balcony across street: Boy, to open that gate you gotta' open yo' legs!
–Seaside, Florida
Stoned chick: So, whenever I’m stoned, like this stoned, I start a sentence… And then through half the sentence, I finish another sentence I said before, or finish another idea in my head, or just start talking. It’s like I forget or something, like, my idea, and it’s like I had it all there, and stuff. You know what I mean?
Stoned guy: … That’s retarded.
–St. Petersburg, Florida
Girl: What is that?!
Guy, flipping it over: Oh my God. Are those eye sockets?
Girl: Ewww. That’s no jellyfish.
Guy: It looks like an alligator head.
Girl: But alligators aren’t in salt water. Maybe it got lost?
Guy: Look it has a…spine?
Girl: But a head wouldn’t have a-
Woman sitting nearby: -It’s a chicken breast. I just threw it out.
Girl and Guy: Oh.
–St. Augustine, Florida
Overheard by: Cristen
Small child: Mama, I have crabs in my shorts!
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Overheard by: People Watcher
Queer #1: Charles, look, there’s another one. He’s white, and the other looks Asian.
Holds up large signs that say “6” and “4,” respectively.
Queer #2: Definitely!
Queer #1: Oh, wow. Look at this one. Latino. Yummmm!
Holds up sign that says “9.”
Queer #2: Oh, yes. Totally!
Straight girl, walking by: What are you two doing? Comparing guys’ looks?
Queer #1: Uhh…
Queer #2: Breeder, please. The Asian guy is a 4, the white guy is a 6, and the Latino guy a 9. What do you think we’re trying to imagine?
–Sunset Beach, Florida
Overheard by: MangoJoe
Loud, drunk sorostitute leaving bar to drunk frat boy: When we get back, I'm gonna piss all over your pussy.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Guy on cell: It's not gay if you use tweezers.
–Tampa, Florida
Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: SB
Husband, excited at seeing a washed up, dead whale: Carla? Do you remember how excited you were when you saw that deer? Well, wait ’til you see this!
–Fernandina Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Katred
