Guy driving by, yelling out the window: I like sex!!
Same guy driving by a minute later: I like sex!
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Crackhead: Yeah, I’m kind of known around here as the sheriff of the North Shore.
Local guy: Yeah? Well, then I’m the mayor.
Passing Australian surfer: I want to be prime minister.
–Sunset Beach, Oahu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jehan
Tourist guy: I hate these tourists! They think they’re so cool, just coming down for the weekend in their little homes, fucking up the traffic and making parking difficult. Go home!
Local teen: Your license plate says you’re from Pennsylvania.
Tourist guy: I rent for the summer. I guess I’m kinda like you, in a sense.
Local teen: Bitch, please.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: beach native
Guy sharing Ferris wheel with family: Good thing they fixed this cart, it was broken yesterday.
Old lady: Have you ever been slapped by a complete stranger?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: girl #1
Man, carrying two hands full of knives: Knives for sale! Knives for sale! 100 dollars! Getting tired of your brother, your cousin, your mother-in-law? Knives for sale! You feeling suicidal? Knives! Knives for sale! 100 dollars!
–Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Elle
Guatemalan teen, passing American teen on the beach: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Huh? What?
Guatemalan teen: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Bro, I don’t know what you’re saying. I don’t speak Mexican or whatever that is.
Guatemalan teen: Want smoke weed?
American teen: Oh. Hell yeah, why didn’t you say that the first time?
–Monte Rico, Guatemala
Overheard by: MangoJoe
Guy: Okay, first person to find a used condom wins a prize!
–Coney Island Beach, New York
Sister: Would you like to see some sea life?
Brother, pointing at three women sunbathing topless: Eww, this isn’t Europe!
Sister: Eli, just look away.
–Rockway Beach, NY
