Drinking dude: He was a cool guy until he pissed in the closet.
–Long Beach, New York
Drinking dude: He was a cool guy until he pissed in the closet.
–Long Beach, New York
Guido in wife beater and jeans halfway down his ass: Anal sex hurts me.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Guy on cell: All you have to do is suck one cock and they’ll call you a cocksucker for the rest of your life.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Harell
Mechanic, returning car: I got a wireless cable.
–Wildwood Crest, New Jersey
Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.
–Fort Macon, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
Chick: I don’t know why you wanted to come to a nudist beach… It’s all old, gay, wrinkled men here. They’re all staring at me and the water is so cold — you look teeny.
Dude: I know, I should have just had you walk around naked at home.
–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Woman #1: You really should have seen this guy's boobs, they were huge.
Woman #2: So he needed a bra?
Man #1: A bro.
Man #2 (with hands on hips, triumphantly): A manzier!
Woman #1: What he needed was some testosterone!
–Hawaii
Overheard by: Festivus for the Rest of Us
Guy #1: Wait… When are you getting circumcised, bro?
Guy #2: Tomorrow.
–Robert Moses Beach, New York
Old guy on oxygen: So, how many more beers can I have??
–Sandbridge, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mike
Duke guy: Have you read Rebecca?
Duke girl: Of Sunnybrook Farm?
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
