Guys

Homeless guy to guy with extremely long hair: Oh my god! Is that hair real?
Guy with extremely long hair: Yes.
Homeless guy: Oh my god! I'm a midget!

–Santa Cruz, California

Boy: So you go out a lot?
Girl: Yeah. My sister thinks I’m a druggy, but I’m like, “Sure I take drugs a lot, but that doesn’t make me a druggy.”

–Beach in Australia

Guy: Can you pass the ChapStick? Because “lip gloss” has the taint.

–Cambria, California

Overheard by: nadia

Guy: So I went to the party last night… and she gave me a BJ. Told you I was beast.
Friend: Well, she has herpes, so you should get tested.
Guy: That whore!

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Obnoxiously drunk ho as she leans on bro for support: Don't even think about thinking!

–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California

Dude: That’s why they call me ‘the Titanic.’
Chick: They don’t call you ‘the Titanic.’

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Ana

Nature’s mishap: I can’t take off this towel.
Logical friend: Why? You do have something on under that.
Nature’s mishap: Well, no.
Logical friend: What?! What happened to your trunks? You didn’t lose them in the water, did you?
Nature’s mishap: No…they’re just gone.
Logical friend, to another guy: I can’t keep my eye off of John for one minute, can I, without him doing something stupid?

–Long Beach, New York

A punk passes an 80-year-old woman in a t-shirt emblazoned with the word ‘Hottie.’

Punk: I’d hit it.

–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland

Man riding away on bike: Oh ya, why don’t you come over here and do something about it? Eat shit and fuck your mom!

–Playa Del Rey, CA

Hot girl to extremely fat guy transfixed by her boobs: What, are you comparing size? Shape? Cause mine might not be as big as yours, but they're far perkier.

–Uvongo Beach, South Africa

Overheard by: dizziebean