Australia

12-year-old boy chasing group of younger kids: Damn punk kids! Damn disrespectful punk kids! When I was young, I had respect for my elders!

–Cottesloe Beach, Perth, Western Australia

Guy: What's the capital of… Iraq?
Girl: Baghdad.
Guy: Lebanon?
Girl: Beirut.
Bimbo: Oh my god, how do you know all this? Have you been to these countries?
Girl #1: Yeah, because they're all such fun places to go visit…
Bimbo: I don't know any capitals except like Australia.
Guy: I'm sure you do, what about New Zealand?
Bimbo: That's a country?!

–Melbourne, Australia

Girl #1: Did you hear we’re getting the lockers on the bottom row at school next year?
Girl #2: Oh, really? I hope I get someone hot on top of me.
Mother, just tuning in to conversation: What?!

–Williamstown Beach, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal

Girl #1, playing Taboo and giving clues for “big brother”: Ummm. I have two of them!
Girl #2: Hands? Eyes?
Girl #1: No! Um! Um! Big? Large?
Girl #2: Legs!
Girl #1: Oh my god!

–Newcastle, Australia

Young child, chasing friends: The only way to kill fish is by using acid! The only way to kill fish is by using acid!

–Jetty, South Australia

Girl #1: I was talking to Jess* the other day. She’s been home for a while.
Girl #2: Isn’t she a lesbian now?
Girl #1: Yeah, she was with her girlfriend, Michelle, who was really nice and really hot.
Girl #2: So, Jess is like the boy, right?
Girl #1: No. They are both girls.

–St. Kilda Beach, Australia

Overheard by: one of those lesbians who dates boys

Boy: I think what you just said is racism.
Biotech: I’ll give you racism, you black bitch.

–Williamstown, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal

Girl to two guys: Do you guys have a spare cigarette?
Guy #1: Yeah, here ya go. (gives her a cigarette)
Girl to guy #2: How about you?

–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: lorax

Lady on cell: And sushi (points at her chihuahua) stops to look for you, but I tell her you're at work and she laughs.

–Tamarama Beach, Australia

Overheard by: GGary

Guy with thick European accent: What, you don’t like my muscles? You want me to wear long-sleeved shirt?
Friend: Uhhh, yes…

–Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: anny