Is This Thing On?

Bikini girl #1: Oh my god, he was totally sleeping, and his member was, like, totally awake. Like, hello?!
Bikini girl #2, giggling: Yeah, hello?!
Bikini girl #3, giggling: Hello?!

–Seaside Heights, New Jersey

Posted on June 13, 2025
Default, Girls, Idiots, New Jersey, Penis, Stupidity

Somehow That Makes It Much Worse

Tween boy #1: Dude, I’m gonna cleave the beaver.
Tween boy #2: When?
Tween boy #1: Tonight.
Tween boy #2: Sweet. You’ll have to tell me how the beaver tastes.
Passerby: Do you even know what a beaver is?
Tween boy #2: Yeah, it’s an animal, stupid.

–Beaver Island State Park, Grand Island, New York

Posted on June 11, 2025
Default, New York, Questions, Sex, Stupidity, Tweens, Words

No, My Family Comes to See Me

Old man #1: This one girl, she let me play with myself.
Old man #2: Oh, yeah?
Old man #1: Yeah… And some of them even let you touch their tits.
Old man #2: Do you still go to Long Island for that?

–Compo Beach, Westport, Connecticut

Overheard by: Forgot my iPod

Posted on June 10, 2025
Connecticut, Default, Geography, Guys, Masturbating, Old folks, Questions, Rack

How J-Lo Can You Go?

Hootchie #1: You can totally see my ass-crack in these jeans — what do you think?
Hootchie #2: Ass-crack is the new cleavage.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: AP

Posted on June 4, 2025
Ass, California, Clothes, Default, Hootchies, Time

But Then You Could Tuck Your Shorts under Them

Teen chick #1: I might want boobs like that.
Teen chick #2: Yeah, but then they’d get old and saggy.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: I.S.

Posted on May 27, 2025
Age and ageing, Default, Girls, Maryland, Rack, Teens, Wishes

If the Goddess of Love Isn't Bisexual, Who Is?

Girl #1: And that’s when I realized that bisexual and aphrodite are the same thing!
Girl #2: You mean hermaphrodite?
Girl #1: Yeah!
Girl #2: You’re an idiot.

–Long Beach, New York

Posted on May 25, 2025
Default, Girls, Insults, New York, Sex, Stupidity, Words

I Wonder If He Realizes He'll Never Go Back?

Skinny white guy, unaware that white girlfriend’s huge black brother is walking behind him: I don’t know why, but I just really want to fuck a black chick!

–Robert Moses, New York

Overheard by: Zep

Posted on May 5, 2025
Default, Guys, New York, Race, Sex, Skinny people, White people, Wishes

So, This Is Hell?

Formerly smiling lifeguard: Great, I’ve got bird shit on me, and we have to listen to John Mayer!

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Posted on April 2, 2025
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Lifeguards, Music, North Carolina, Poop, Sensory Experiences

Little Guilty Knowledge There, Bro?

Tween in one-piece: Amber’s parents let her wear a bikini.
Dad: But her parents love her.
Teen brother: No, they don’t. She’s just a 10-year-old slut.

–Lake Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canadia

Overheard by: Jenny

Posted on March 29, 2025
Age and ageing, Bathing suits, Canadia, Comebacks, Dads, Default, Gripes, Insults, Tweens

When Couples Get Divorced, It Is Truly the Children Who Suffer

Girl: So, when Daddy said that his girlfriend was coming to stay the night it was a bad thing?
Mother: Yes, dear.
Girl: Does this mean I get two Christmases and two birthdays, like Ashlee?

–Parua Bay, New Zealand

Overheard by: naughtygurl

Posted on March 28, 2025
Break-ups, Default, Family, Girls, Moms, New Zealand, Questions, Three is company

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