Tweens

Tween #1: Do you think I’m a bitch?
Tween #2: No!
Tween #3: You look like a bitch.
Tween #1: What?
Tween #3: Bitches are pretty.
Tween #2: Do I look like a bitch? 

–Bondi Beach, Australia

Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Nicole

Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Nicole

Mother: Stop flicking your ear.
Tween son: I can’t. My ear is so awesome.
Mother: You’re so retarded sometimes.
Tween son: Like dad?

–Orchard Beach, The Bronx, New York

Overheard by: Pinks

Father: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daughter #1: Why? We have company! Can’t we stay?
Father: I have no coverage here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no vacation.
Tween daughter #2: No beach?
Father: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.

–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: amazed observer

Teen boy: Yo, you’re hot. How old are you?
Girl: Eleven. But I’m turning twelve in three days.
Teen boy: … Bye.

–Emerald Isle, North Carolina

Teenage girl: I can’t wait to get a tattoo on my lower back.
Tween boy #1: Why would you want a tattoo there? How are you going to be able to see it?
Tween boy #2: It’s not for her, stupid, it’s for the dudes she lets do her in the butt doggy‐style.

–St. Simon’s Island, Georgia

Overheard by: John

Tween #1: So, like, what did you eat in Africa?
Tween #2: Like rice and stuff.
Tween #1: Like white rice or brown rice?
Tween #2: White rice.
Tween #1: Like, ew. You can get so fat from that! Oh my God, is that why those Africans in those picture you have, have huge bellies?
Tween #2: You are beyond retarded!

–Second Beach, Newport, Rhode Island

Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve‐year‐old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.

–Virginia Beach

12‐year‐old boy to boogie boarding pal: You just did a 360! That was so awesome! We should all give you blowjobs for that! Even your brother!
Friend: Dude, you are so gay.

–Monterey Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith