Man on cell: What? What’s up with the banana skirt? How come I don’t get a banana skirt?

–Waikiki, Honolulu, Hawaii

Girl #1: Yeah, so I wore two different colored flip‐flops to the mall. It was so humiliating all day, looking like that.
Girl #2: I would’ve died!

–Ocean Beach, Fire Island, New York

Guy: Ouch! This sand is hot.
Girl: Where are your shoes?
Guy: Shoes? You don’t wear shoes on the beach. The sand feels too good to wear shoes.

–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Bill

Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him – his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn’t shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers.

–Lake Miramar, California

Overheard by: El Meech

19‐year‐old boy: I want to make a shirt that says “Keep Allah out of downtown New York” and wear it to Ground Zero.

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: Couldn’t Agree More

Woman, buying concert t‑shirt: How do these run? Big? Small?
Salesman: Well, they run a little small so I usually get a bigger size.
Woman: No, no. I have just had liposuction all down my back so I want mine to be really tight.

–Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: SusanPC

Girl #1: I cannot believe she thinks she can get away with wearing a thong!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think it’s supposed to be a thong.
Girl #1: You mean her ass ate her bathing suit? 

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: Emily 

(guy #2 is wearing a jacket in 100‐degree weather)
Guy #1: Why can’t you just wear shorts like a normal person?
Guy #2: Why can’t you drink milk with your eyes?
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: It’s science, bitch!

–Miami, Florida

Guy #1: I can’t believe he left us!
Guy #2: Yeah, me either. It really sucks being stuck on this fucking island with no hot chicks. I don’t have a fucking shirt and I’m freezing my balls off!
Guy #1: Yeah, I know what you mean.

–St. Petersburg, Florida

Woman: Her shorts were kinda baggy so she just tucked them under her boobs.

–Warren Dunes, Michigan

Overheard by: Syd O’Banion