Townie broad #1: You can tell how a man treats a woman by how he treats his bike.
Townie broad #2: Bill keeps his in the garage and hasn't ridden it in five years.

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Woman on surfboard to another: And now my husband wants me to play with his balls while I'm giving him a blowjob. Who does he think I am? I can't even do this! (tries to pat head and rub stomach at the same time)

–Flat Island, Kailua, Hawaii

Overheard by: TheHammstr

Girl: I’m a backpacker, not a real whore.

–Coogee Beach, Sydney, Australia

Hoochie on cell: Calvin? No, that guy is a walking STD farm. I wouldn’t fuck him with Paris Hilton’s pussy!

–Coney Island, New York

18-year-old girl #1: I wonder what we’ll be like in college…
18-year-old girl #2: I think I’ll be a slut.

–Cable Beach, Bahamas

Overheard by: Rachel

Hoochie to friends: Okay, girls, our goal for this weekend is to not end up on the Internet again.

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Ladle

Italian girl: So, um… How do you know if you have crabs?
Frat boy: What?
Italian girl: Well, I’m not sure if I just have another yeast infection or dry skin or something…
Frat boy: Why are you asking me this?
Italian girl: Because we slept together last week and now I itch!

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: jerseygirl

Obnoxiously drunk ho as she leans on bro for support: Don't even think about thinking!

–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California

Hootchie #1: You can totally see my ass-crack in these jeans — what do you think?
Hootchie #2: Ass-crack is the new cleavage.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: AP

Dude: You know you’re turning me on, right?
Hootchie: Do you want me to stop?
Dude: No. No, I don’t.
Hootchie: If you didn’t have a girfriend, I’d fuck you so hard you wouldn’t recognize Jesus.

–Newport, Oregon

Overheard by: Sonora