Gangsta teen wannabe: Damn, son, check that ho!
Little brother: Which one?
Gangsta teen wannabe: The one with the splat-tat and the muffin top.
Little brother: Daaamn!
Gangsta teen wannabe: Maybe she’ll bend over and show some slut crack.
Mom, studying tourist info: What?

–Cannery Row, Monterey, California

Overheard by: gt6driver

Chubby tourist: So then I was like, “Okay, anal is something I'd really wanna try.”

–Beach 6, Presque Isle, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kat

Dude to girlfriend buying him lunch: You know, you could be bangin’ if you’d just lose that fat ass!

–North Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois

Brunette teen: Last time I was here with Tony, we boned. He told me it was fun and romantic and everyone has to have sex on the beach once in their lives. It was the worst. I found sand in my ass for, like, two weeks.
Blonde teen: Ugh, I hate when that happens.
Brunette teen: What?
Blonde teen: It’s a long story, but it involves a sand box.

–Field 6, Jones Beach, New York

Loud gay man: Oh my gosh! Last time I saw you I was fucking your ass!

–Hillcrest, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Blonde: I just can’t believe Justin Timberlake can dance like that!
Black guy: I can. It’s 2007 — brothers are intelligent and white girls got booty.

–Venice Beach, Florida

Overheard by: slamber

Angry mother: Wash your damn hands!
Dirty son: No!
Angry mother: Wash your damn hands, Justin!
Dirty son: [Sticks his hands in the clogged sink.]Angry mother: Use the fucking soap. You just gave the dog his medicine in his butt.
Dirty son: No way, I already stuck my hands in my mouth.

–In-N-Out Burger, Long Beach, California

Dude #1: You know, that guy we call Ass.
Dude #2: You call the guy Ass? Why?
Dude #1: Because he smells like ass. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not?

–Plum Island, Massachusetts

Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass.

–San Clemente Beach, California

Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid

Dad, about bald passerby: That guy is really bald!
Daughter: Dad, you have more hair on your butt than your head.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Ryan