Blonde: I just can’t believe Justin Timberlake can dance like that!
Black guy: I can. It’s 2007 — brothers are intelligent and white girls got booty.

–Venice Beach, Florida

Overheard by: slamber

Angry mother: Wash your damn hands!
Dirty son: No!
Angry mother: Wash your damn hands, Justin!
Dirty son: [Sticks his hands in the clogged sink.]Angry mother: Use the fucking soap. You just gave the dog his medicine in his butt.
Dirty son: No way, I already stuck my hands in my mouth.

–In‐N‐Out Burger, Long Beach, California

Dude #1: You know, that guy we call Ass.
Dude #2: You call the guy Ass? Why?
Dude #1: Because he smells like ass. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not?

–Plum Island, Massachusetts

Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass.

–San Clemente Beach, California

Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid 

Dad, about bald passerby: That guy is really bald!
Daughter: Dad, you have more hair on your butt than your head.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Ryan

Mother: Do you know how dogs introduce themselves to each other?
Eight‐year‐old daughter: No, how?
Mother: They sniff each other’s butts.


Overheard by: Nadine

Girl #1: I cannot believe she thinks she can get away with wearing a thong!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think it’s supposed to be a thong.
Girl #1: You mean her ass ate her bathing suit? 

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: Emily 

Girl: Are you going to go back to 24 Hour Fitness?
Guy: Gayness in my anus…

–Pacific Beach, California

Girl: I lost my butthole! Oh, wait, there it is!

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: Misaki

20‐something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20‐something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20‐something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…

–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida