Ass

Small boy gazing in awe: All the tooshie…

–Caroline Bay, Timaru, New Zealand

Overheard by: [LadyFlash]

Mom: Honey, what are you doing?
Daughter: Going under the umbrella, because I don’t want my butt to get parched.

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: Kara

Latino guy #1: I'm gonna fuck her so hard she'll feel it in her culo.
Latino guy #2: If she really loved you, she'd let you stick it in her culo.

–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Geni

Queer: Josh! If you don’t put your ass away right now, I’m gonna fuck it!

–Fire Island Pines, Brookhaven, New York

Overheard by: Your Buddy in Blue

15-year-old to mother and sister: Two for the pink, one for the stink.
Mother, laughing: Who taught you that?
15-year-old: Dad.

–Boat in Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii

Overheard by: Pro Forced Sterilization

Gangsta teen wannabe: Damn, son, check that ho!
Little brother: Which one?
Gangsta teen wannabe: The one with the splat-tat and the muffin top.
Little brother: Daaamn!
Gangsta teen wannabe: Maybe she’ll bend over and show some slut crack.
Mom, studying tourist info: What?

–Cannery Row, Monterey, California

Overheard by: gt6driver

Chubby tourist: So then I was like, “Okay, anal is something I'd really wanna try.”

–Beach 6, Presque Isle, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kat

Dude to girlfriend buying him lunch: You know, you could be bangin’ if you’d just lose that fat ass!

–North Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois

Brunette teen: Last time I was here with Tony, we boned. He told me it was fun and romantic and everyone has to have sex on the beach once in their lives. It was the worst. I found sand in my ass for, like, two weeks.
Blonde teen: Ugh, I hate when that happens.
Brunette teen: What?
Blonde teen: It’s a long story, but it involves a sand box.

–Field 6, Jones Beach, New York

Loud gay man: Oh my gosh! Last time I saw you I was fucking your ass!

–Hillcrest, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee