You Put that Soul Back Where You Got It, Young Man!

Little boy #1: You can’t do it.
Little boy #2: Yes, I can.
Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul.
Little boy #2: Don’t underestimate my powers.

–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Lorraine

Because Then Who Would Guard Our Ice Cream While We Stole New Towels?

Girl: I hope nobody stole our towels while we were stealing ice cream.

–Melbourne Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ali and Livi

Boy: I think what you just said is racism.
Biotech: I’ll give you racism, you black bitch.

–Williamstown, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal

Young boy, to buxom woman: Are those balls in your bathing suit?

–Reservoir, Arlington, Massachusetts

Overheard by: TC Ledger

Girl: It’s so nice out today. I love natural wind.

–Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

Overheard by: Lindsay

Child: Mommy, how old are you?
Mother: I am forty.
Child: [counting on fingers] Jeez, Mommy, you’re running out of numbers.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Bimbette to friend: Why is it so cold? It’s a beach!
Passerby: Yeah, a beach in November… Dipshit.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: dr. obvious

Woman #1: Is that a dead seal in the water?
Woman #2: Are you Canadian or just stupid?
Woman #1: I’m Canadian.

–Key West, Florida

Overheard by: uarerude

Sorority girl: He’s fucking GAY! How the fuck am I supposed to fuck a fucking gay guy?!

–Galveston, Texas

Jersey girl: Why do we have to be all ghetto and start stealing stuff when we have money?

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: alison