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Chick #1: Why didn’t you kiss me at the pool?!
Chick #2: Because I don’t want to have an open relationship with you!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Guy #1: Nice tie.
Guy #2: Yeah, I got it from a relative.
Little girl: No, you didn’t, Daddy. You got it from me.

–White Rock Beach, British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: Dan-Mission, B.C.

American girl, looking at girl with shaved head: Oh my God, I feel soo bad for her.
American friend #1: ‘Cause she has cancer?
American friend #2: Or she’s a dyke.
American girl: Either way, it sucks!

–Herzliya Beach, Herzliya, Israel

Golden girl: Excuse me, bartender!
(harried bartender grunts at her)
Golden girl: Bartender, can I just have an ice cube please?
(harried bartender fills a cup with ice cubes and slams it down in front of her)
Golder girl: What am I supposed to do with all of these? I just wanted one to put in my bra!

–Colony Hotel, Delray Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Dude #1, looking at girl’s butt: I’d say about a six.
Dude #2: Yeah… Out of a hundred!
Dude #1: Okay, fine. What about her… Eight?
Dude #2: Nah.
Dude #1: Well, what do you think?
Dude #2: That man’s about an eight.
Dude #1: Dude…

–Gold Coast, Australia

Four-year-old girl, playing with bucket in sand: Come play with us!
Four-year-old boy, barely looking up from his inflatable mattress: No, I’m working on my tan.

–Waikiki, Hawaii

Teen boy, looking at boogie board: Oh, man… My nipples are gonna get it.

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Kate H

Short girl: I would make a really awkward stripper.
Taller girl: Ummm… What?
Short girl: No, seriously! Like, think about it — if I was up there stripping, I would be like half the size of all the other girls… My head would be in the same spot as their, you know… And that’s awkward.

–Bayfront, Hamilton, Ontario, Canadia

Skater punk to another: Dude, seriously, fuck Picasso.

–Venice Beach, California

Little boy, wearing a towel as a cape: I’m six! And six-year-old boys are full of poison! I’m gonna bite you! Rawrrr!

–Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Lisita