Words

Girl: They look so much bigger when you’re on your knees!… Um, I meant the waves.

–Loon Point, Summerland, California

Overheard by: likes big waves

Guy holding up little wooden container: We could get this for Bill.
Girl: Oh! For his pot!
Guy, looking over girl’s shoulder at elderly woman behind her: … Or stuff.

–Labadee, Haiti

[Three ten-year-old boys cycling past the beach.]Boy #1: Why you going so fast?!
Boy #2: [Missing front teeth, which makes him lisp.] Becauth he wath fucking her latht night!
Boy #3: What?!!!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: They grow up quickly these days!

Sunbathing girl: Ahhh! Burning sensation!

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Kristin

Guy to girl: I have a wiener dog that is a pain in the ass!
Girl: Is that supposed to be a pun?

–Tampa, Florida

Mother to father: Oh my! Jerry, say something to that old man. His testicles are hanging out of his swimsuit.
Little girl: I have testicles. They’re in my mouth. [Opens mouth]Mother: Not tonsils. Testicles!
Father: Seven, and already MTV has ruined her.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Book Reading Beach Bum

Hot tan girl reading specials board: Does that say tuna and Jews?
Hot pale girl: Um, no. That says “with chips.”

–Crazy Gringo, Weirs Beach, New Hampshire

Swedish guy, to French guy: So you’re telling me I just paid like 1,000 Euro to go here and find out that some fuckin’ frogshagger screwed my girlfriend?

French guy says nothing.

Swedish guy: Hey, that’s three words for “intercourse” in one sentence! Personal record!

–Côte d’Azur, France

Overheard by: Another Swede

French backpacker waiting for bus, in heavy French accent: Please, someone take a picture of this obnoxiousnezz!

–Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica

Overheard by: RaindanceRichard

Kid preparing to bodysurf a big wave: Look! I’m a bigwig!

–Misquamicut Beach, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Steve