Boy #1: So “home run” means “married with babies”?
Boy #2: Yeah, but I like Grand Slams the best.
–Penfield Beach, Connecticut
Boy #1: So “home run” means “married with babies”?
Boy #2: Yeah, but I like Grand Slams the best.
–Penfield Beach, Connecticut
Random high school girl: So then I looked at her and said, “Shit, bitch, what's your fucking problem?”
Random high school guy: Were they Mexican?
Girl: Uh-huh.
Guy: Well, were they sexy Mexicans?
Girl: Yes, deary, they were Sexicans.
–Rat Beach, California
Overheard by: where can i find them?
Girl to younger boy: You’re going to be a real lady killer when you’re older.
Younger boy: I’ll kill men, too. I don’t care.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Brittney
Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before.
–Pacific Palisades, California
Overheard by: ear of the betafish
Queer #1 reaching for sunscreen: Okay, I need someone to do my back!
Queer #2: Ewww.
Queer #1: Oh, shut up you skanky-ass, motherfucking whore!
–Cherry Grove Beach, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Marizzle
American female tourist #1: So what did you say your favorite condoment was ?
American female tourist #2: Trojans!
American male tourist: You kiddin … Mine is Europe, every time!
–Holland America Cruise, Mediterrean Sea
Overheard by: Vennfix
Tourist girl #1: Wow! Check out the package on that guy!
Tourist girl #2: What? He's not holding anything.
Tourist girl #1: I meant his dick!
–Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Overheard by: Fernanda
Jock: Don’t diabetics have to check their pH level?
–Long Beach, New York
Fitness instructor, to participant complaining of leg cramps: Make sure you get a banana in you before you head to work.
–Crescent Bay Park, Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: JD