Tween boy #1: Dude, I’m gonna cleave the beaver.
Tween boy #2: When?
Tween boy #1: Tonight.
Tween boy #2: Sweet. You’ll have to tell me how the beaver tastes.
Passerby: Do you even know what a beaver is?
Tween boy #2: Yeah, it’s an animal, stupid.
–Beaver Island State Park, Grand Island, New York
Teen girl, looking at historic photos of fishermen: So like, what's a “circa”?
Teen boy: That's a kind of fish. (pointing to photo) See, that's a circa. So's that…
–Pier, Naples, Florida
Overheard by: circa 1978
30-something Guido to pretty girl: Hey. I hear you're looking for a stud. I've got the STD, all I need is “u.”
–Pacific Beach, California
Mother, to little boy refusing to wear swimmies: Fine, I guess you can go drown. Say bye bye to mommy. [Little boy breaks into hysterics.]
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Leigh
Girl: The sign for “Ped Xing” is way too vague. Lots of words begin with “ped-“. It could very well be a pedophile crossing.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
Mother to crying six-year-old: No, honey, she didn’t mean it like that. ‘Nonsense’ is not a bad word.
–Compo Beach, Connecticut
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Rich lady with yappy dog: Well, ‘Caucasian’ has ‘Asian’ in it. Then again, there’s a ‘turd’ in every ‘Saturday.’
–Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Disturbed
Guy, reading back of girl’s shirt, which says “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere”: I love that t-shirt! 5 cocks!
–Cherry Grove, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Tom Johnson
Lady: You have an awfully long deck.
Homeowner: Thanks… Oh, you said ‘deck.’
–Topsail Island, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jim
