Blonde: So my mom fucked me last night.
Friend: She what?
Blonde: You know, held up her middle finger…
Friend: Um…
–Malibu, California
Blonde: So my mom fucked me last night.
Friend: She what?
Blonde: You know, held up her middle finger…
Friend: Um…
–Malibu, California
Young boy: Look dad, somebody dropped some peanuts.
Male surfer: Sir, I wouldn’t eat them, I think they came out of someone’s rear end.
Young boy: So these are ass nuts? Awesome!
–Florence, Oregon
Overheard by: Johm
Girl on cell: Hey! I'm having a barbecue tonight! You should totally come over to my place and drink juice. And by “juice,” I mean sooodaaaa.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Young boy, to buxom woman: Are those balls in your bathing suit?
–Reservoir, Arlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TC Ledger
Girl: It’s so nice out today. I love natural wind.
–Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Lindsay
Mom: Hey! Tell them the new teenager attitude sound.
Uncle: Pfft.
Girl #1: Yeah, that’s spelled P-F-F-T.
Girl #2: Doesn’t it have, like, an ‘H’ in it or something? Like P-H-F-F-T?
Uncle: You don’t even have to have the ‘T’ in it. You could definitely go without the ‘T.’
–Inverhuron, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: sun-fried brain
Young 20-something guy, while texting: Is tranny spelled with one “n” or two?
–Ferry, Fire Island, New York
