Girl: They look so much bigger when you’re on your knees!… Um, I meant the waves.
–Loon Point, Summerland, California
Overheard by: likes big waves
Girl: They look so much bigger when you’re on your knees!… Um, I meant the waves.
–Loon Point, Summerland, California
Overheard by: likes big waves
Guy holding up little wooden container: We could get this for Bill.
Girl: Oh! For his pot!
Guy, looking over girl’s shoulder at elderly woman behind her: … Or stuff.
–Labadee, Haiti
[Three ten-year-old boys cycling past the beach.]Boy #1: Why you going so fast?!
Boy #2: [Missing front teeth, which makes him lisp.] Becauth he wath fucking her latht night!
Boy #3: What?!!!
–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: They grow up quickly these days!
Sunbathing girl: Ahhh! Burning sensation!
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Kristin
Mother to father: Oh my! Jerry, say something to that old man. His testicles are hanging out of his swimsuit.
Little girl: I have testicles. They’re in my mouth. [Opens mouth]Mother: Not tonsils. Testicles!
Father: Seven, and already MTV has ruined her.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Book Reading Beach Bum
Hot tan girl reading specials board: Does that say tuna and Jews?
Hot pale girl: Um, no. That says “with chips.”
–Crazy Gringo, Weirs Beach, New Hampshire
Swedish guy, to French guy: So you’re telling me I just paid like 1,000 Euro to go here and find out that some fuckin’ frogshagger screwed my girlfriend?
French guy says nothing.
Swedish guy: Hey, that’s three words for “intercourse” in one sentence! Personal record!
–Côte d’Azur, France
Overheard by: Another Swede
French backpacker waiting for bus, in heavy French accent: Please, someone take a picture of this obnoxiousnezz!
–Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica
Overheard by: RaindanceRichard
Kid preparing to bodysurf a big wave: Look! I’m a bigwig!
–Misquamicut Beach, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Steve
