Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.
–Pacifica, California
Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.
–Pacifica, California
Man outside single bathroom door: Wolf breath, what are you doing in there?
Woman, from inside bathroom: What the fuck do you think I'm doing in here? What the fuck do you do in the bathroom?
Man outside bathroom: Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Lisa Mavinelli
Formerly smiling lifeguard: Great, I’ve got bird shit on me, and we have to listen to John Mayer!
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
Young boy: Look dad, somebody dropped some peanuts.
Male surfer: Sir, I wouldn’t eat them, I think they came out of someone’s rear end.
Young boy: So these are ass nuts? Awesome!
–Florence, Oregon
Overheard by: Johm
Bald man to baby on blanket (in baby voice): Do you have somethin' to say? Are you thinkin'? Are you thinkin'? Yes you are.
Woman next to him: He's pooping.
Bald man: Are you poopin'? Are you poopin'? Yes you are!
–Sunset Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Emma
Four-year-old girl, dropping cracker on the floor: Oh, shit!
Mother: Um…no, honey. Not here.
–Steamship Authority Martha's Vineyard Ferry, Massachusetts
Hot dad: No, it's because I prefer other foods.
Small boy clinging to his back: Like people poopy?
–Vancouver Sea Walk, Canada
Overheard by: Rosie
Teen girl on cell: It doesn't have feces in it?
–Malibu, California
Late-20s chick #1: Don’t the tourists understand the laws of seagull shitting? I mean, if they feed them, they are going to crap all over the entire beach.
Late-20s chick #2: At least the parade of Hare Krishnas has passed.
–Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Overheard by: unMuse
Girl: Ooh, it's so pretty here…like on Lost!
Guy (stepping around litter): Yeah, complete with used diapers.
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: The Other
